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Tuesday, 25 December 2012


Most of us start the New Year with great ideas, ambitions and motivation, and as we put all of our thoughts into action, that motivation only last so long. In fact, it peters out pretty quickly...darn it!! After all the good feelings surrounding a New Year and new opportunities, we finally have to face reality and that usually means we actually have to do what we resolved to do! Yikes! I know this from experience and realize that we all need a little help keeping our New Year’s resolutions. So if you are like me, you could use a boost...make those resolutions work for you in the only area of the mind that allows it to happen...SUBCONCIOUSLY. But first, DON'T MAKE ANY 'RESOLUTIONS"! Call the process something else, like, "Taking care of Me list" or "What I want out of the new Year".

I’d like you to consider a motivational story about Elephants.  I would like you to imagine a young girl who is about nine years old. Think of this young girl at a circus with her father. The girl notices a several large elephants at one end of the largest of the circus tents. These full grown animals were being held by only a small chain tied around their front lesg. At the other end of the chain is a small wooden stake driven into the ground. The girl keeps looking at the chain and then at the elephants, comparing the size of the wooden stake and the size of the elephants. Something doesn’t seem right.

The girl asks her father how a chain and a small wooden stake could ever stop the giant elephant from escaping. The father smiles and is proud to realize how observant his young daughter has become. The father tells her how when elephants are very small, they start out with a heavy chain around their leg. The other end of the chain is attached to a metal rod that is driven deep into the ground.

The daughter listens to her father as he explains how the baby elephant would pull and tug with all his might trying to get loose, but the chain was too strong. The girl listened and understood what kept the elephant from escaping years ago, but did not understand how that past experience was affecting the elephants today. Her Father further explains how the elephant had become conditioned to fail. He failed so many times trying to break free that now a that same size chain can be tied around its leg, holding it lightly, and the moment that the elephant feels the slightest resistance, he stops trying.   These animals could, with their size, break free any time they chose. But because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they stood.

Many times as humans we have failed at doing something in the past and perhaps, never given 100% again.  How many of us have held on to the belief that we’d fail if we tried just one more time. 

I have found that most people want to make some sort of change in their lives. These changes may be on a physical, mental, or spiritual level. Whether it's to stop smoking, shed some weight, stop biting your nails, look for new employment, or to manifest the love of their lives,  I believe that we can to make the desired changes; however, we are sometimes limited by our own old thinking patterns which hold us back from making desirable and practical changes in our lives. Sometimes I ask my clients: Are there things in your life which you know you could be doing to make those improvements you desire, but are not able or can't do them at this time?”

Most people answer " yes" to the above question. This is where the powerful effects of hypnosis can become helpful to clients who wish to make changes, but can't bring themselves to make changes consciously. They try to make changes, or force changes to be made, but find that will-power can only take them a short distance toward their goals. Did you know that your conscious logical mind is only working for you 5% of the day? The other 95% of the day you are operating from your subconscious mind, using old programming that you aren't even aware of. And most of you then wonder why you can't stop doing something, or stick to a plan, or 'make' it happen. Hypnosis can be very powerful and effective in aligning your conscious and your subconscious minds. It works by activating all the different regions of your mind and gets them working together, striving towards a common goal. Hypnosis activates your mind power so that you will want to do the things you know you should be doing, to help you achieve your positive goals and dreams.

Sometimes a person may be resistant to change, even if one is not consciously aware the resistance. Let us discuss this a bit further. Will-power is the force of the conscious mind and works by forcing the mind to change a habit. For example, if one uses will-power alone to stop smoking , often the results are short term gains and solutions. For any change to be long lasting, we must work on the root of the problem, or the seat of the motivation. The subconscious mind holds the secrets to long lasting change.

Hypnosis works by facilitating access to the subconscious mind through focused attention inward using guided imagery and then re-educating it with positive suggestions. Hypnosis through guided imagery is simply the picturing of specific visualizations as directed by the Hypnotherapist with our goal in mind. In your own mind, you create the person you wish to become, and your body will follow suit. A key to this is that the inner mind does not differentiate between what is real and what is imagined.  It uses all of our 5 outer senses + our emotions (inner senses) to create the scenario (images) supported by the positive emotions (feelings) to become the power behind our goal (intention).  During a hypnosis session, you are always free to accept or reject any imagery or suggestion you choose. I would work with you to help choose the right guided imagery to meet your specific needs.

If the conscious part of our mind makes up only 5%, which everyone says we use through will-power; then the subconscious mind is the other 95% which is the most powerful determinate of our behavior. It has been called "The single most goal oriented mechanism known to Man". It is the subconscious, inner mind which is the center of our imagination, our motivations, and behaviors. What the subconscious mind believes the individual tends to achieve.

Hypnosis is a safe and effective tool in the hands of a competent and ethical practitioner. I am trained to act as a facilitator in the hypnosis process, and as all hypnosis is self-hypnosis, you can only be taught how to change those things which you want to change.  Learn that you can BREAK FREE and make the changes you want to for YOU.

Saturday, 22 December 2012

Tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School

Like the rest of the world, as a Human being, I am horrified by the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary  School in Newtown, Connecticut.  As a Mother with her youngest in Grade 6, I am terrified and sickened at the thought of what the Parents and Family of those 20 innocent children are going through, as well as the Parents and Family of the slain Teachers.  My Son has had an inoperable brain tumor since he was 4 years old and the reality is that without Chemotherapy treatments, which he has undergone twice (currently in his second treatment), uncontrolled growth could end his life.  So I do my best to take it one day at a time.  But to have your child, who you feel is safe with his or her Teacher’s in School, is taken so suddenly and violently, is unbearably shocking and appalling to the core.

Adam Lanza, the 20 year old who caused this horrific event, was an obviously troubled young Man.  The media information coming in informs us that he had may have had Asperger’s Syndrome most of his life.  According to medical authorities, Asperger’s does not have any mention, in diagnostic criteria, of a potential towards violence.  It would simply help in understanding the personality and experiences of the gunman.  I wonder what happened in his life experiences that lead him to such a destructive act of violence.  Because he smashed his home computer, I don’t believe we will ever know what drove him to this.  He took his secrets with him on December 14, 2012. 

What we do know is that he was reclusive and shy. I believe he was in pain and filled with suppressed rage.  He shot his Mother, which in his disturbed mind, shows that she may have been a focal figure of his rage.  He stared at the floor when introduced to people which indicated he may have suffered from Social Anxiety, which presents when one has extreme fear, in social interaction, of ridicule and judgment.  He looked average in his photos which may also have added to poor self image.  Interviews friends of his Mother said that they knew he’d switched schools more than once and that she’d tried home schooling him.  This could indicate trouble at school with bullying, not fitting in.  A student in his tenth grade Honors English class recalled he was very quiet, very thin and carried a black briefcase to class, which stuck out when all the other kids carried backpacks. Read more: +Daily News

Most of what I have read puts the spotlight on gun control.  It shouldn’t be all about the easy access to guns of all types.  I think it would be a mess trying to come up with regulations that allow for legal gun ownership and weeding out those that have mental illness that should not be in possession of such.. Difficult but possible to enact some kind of legislation that limits access to guns.  With all the educated minds in the US political system, perhaps they can come up with regulations and limits to gun access.  This also needs to be about mental illness, about kids feeling ostracized by society for being different.  Just a few months ago, Fifteen-year-old Amanda Todd of Coquitlam, BC, near where I live, took her life after years of being bullied.  She, too, changed schools several times, looking for a fresh start, but her troubles followed her.  In the notes underneath a video she posted on YouTube about her depression and struggle, which appeared shortly before she committed suicide, she writes, "I'm struggling to stay in this world, because everything just touches me so deeply.... Haters are haters but please don't hate," said the posting.

Perhaps Adam felt the same way in that being an outcast was a common denominator.  Amanda did not, however, that is known, have a mental illness. Her being bullied began after an unknown man convinced her to expose herself online in front of a webcam. He blackmailed her and spread the photos around, destroying her reputation.  The tweens and teens are hard for any kid in this day and age where being different can mean being cast off.  Where many kids will do anything to belong, to be liked and accepted.  We all have judgments and are quick to exercise them.  We value material things, celebrity, and body image but shun that which does not match up with what society deems “normal”. 

Adam may have had Asperger's syndrome (which I can only assume he was diagnosed with) which is characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction, alongside restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior and interests (like OCD). It' also indicative of high intelligence for subjects that are analytical (like math and science).   Although not required for diagnosis, physical clumsiness and peculiar use of language are frequently reported.  It begins in infancy or early childhood.  Imagine trying to make friends and fit in when by the very nature of his disorder, social interaction is difficult.   It’s a disorder of social communication. People with Asperger’s have trouble understanding how other people are thinking and how they feel. They have trouble reading social cues and making eye contact. They're often obsessed with details and facts.  Perhaps this was the seed that caused him to suppress frustration and anger as the only way to cope?  We ALL do it.  We swallow all those feelings that don’t feel good but the thoughts attached to them remain and our actions are dictated by them, if not regularly, then at the least, with the occasional outbursts.

I in no way condone what he did.  There is NO rational explanation that could justify this heinous crime.  And that’s the point.  This was not a rational act. It was, perhaps, an emotional response to pent up feelings that finally drove him to do what he did.  Perhaps he convinced himself that this was the only way to end his pain.  Perhaps he’d been hanging on to his sanity by a thread for some time.  We may never know. Maybe he was mentally ill, but I imagine that not fitting in was his nemesis; not having strong social bonds with peers, not feeling understood even by those that loved him the most in the world.

I work with Clients who have Anger Management Issues.  And although some have said that in their rage they could "kill" the object of their anger, there are enough restraining parts of their minds that know it is only words.

What society could learn is to find methods to intervene at the childhood level where mental illness is concerned; to have more programs in place to educate children in general about mental and physical illnesses and how this does not make people difference, only uniquelt themselves.  My Son has decided to take it upon himself to talk to different classes in his school to teach them about what he has gone through so that they feel more at ease with him and lifting the shroud of taboo about physical and medical disabilities and how it feels to have an illness.

As a human race, we have to come from heart, to educate ourselves about mental illness and instability so that perhaps, we can see the signs of a troubled mind before it acts in anger and violence towards others.  That’s my hope.

Thursday, 6 December 2012

The Lion Inside

Self-esteem is essential to our ability to function in a healthy way. Without the foundation of a solid sense of self-worth, we are unable to take the risks and make the decisions necessary to lead a fulfilling, productive life. A low self-esteem corrodes our love lives, careers, family bonds, and, most importantly, our internal sense of well-being. A high self-esteem, on the other hand, brings the high level of confidence, problem-solving abilities, and assertiveness needed to achieve what Maslow called "self-actualization"- a continuous desire to fulfill potentials, to be all that you can be. People who have positive self-esteem have healthier, stronger relationships with others. A strong sense of self-worth actually creates a type of self-fulfilling prophecy: the more you like yourself, the more you begin to act in likable ways; the more you believe you are able to achieve something, the more likely it is that you will. And the good news is that we can all take steps to improve our self-esteem. After all, there's nothing more important than the relationship you have with yourself!

In my work as a Clinical Hypnotherapist, I find that the root of ALL issues has a direct relationship to self esteem.  Self esteem is formed by successfully overcoming obstacles that begins in childhood.  Children are born with the need to be loved and provided with safety and sanctuary.  They begin to develop a sense of self and their own self worth experientially.  The events that happen in their lives, especially those which involve their  care givers, shape their idea of what they are worth. 

Children begin with "small" obstacles like learning to walk, potty training, and learning social cues.  A child is learning by perception formed by an awareness of the environment based on feelings and thoughts.  Feelings and thoughts based on an event cause a perception to take place (their idea of what is happening and how it makes them feel) which then forms a belief about themselves and their world.  There is NO rationalization at this time of life – the logical mind isn’t forming until age 5.  So a child forms many beliefs, many of them which are false, about themselves, by default.  An example can be that a child is crying in the crib and needs to be fed or changed or just needing comfort.  If the child’s needs are not responded too quickly, the child often forms the belief that it is not important, that it is alone and no one cares (actual situation experienced with several clients).  This belief becomes the property of the subconscious mind and its job is to protect this belief, whether true or false, because it is not RATIONAL.  The subconscious mind does not judge what we perceive.  The child goes on to believe, falsely, that it is not important and loneliness, as well as self sabotage, follows it into their teens and adulthood.  The subconscious mind is goal oriented without judgement.  In its protection of the belief, it keeps it alive and sabotages the person in his/her lifetime.  The person may not ever feel important enough to have a healthy relationship, or the courage to go for the job he/she wants. 

In a healthy scenario, a child who learns from the consequences of their own actions and discovers how to avoid those consequences with the aid of Parents, Teachers, etc, ends up feeling more self confident and worthy to ask for what they need and better able to handle other problems in the future.

Hypnotherapy is a technique that uses Regression Therapy to access the subconscious mind (the part of the mind that protects the original belief) and to guide the client to the root event that began the false belief in the first place.  It is a gentle and safe way to change old, outdated beliefs.  The subconscious mind is amazing in that it will learn, unlearn and relearn based on information and communication directly to it.  In other words, when you change a believe about yourself while at this deep level of the mind, when you are in the state of mind that allows this to happen (Hypnotic trance), then the new belief is planted, takes hold, and is protected just as strongly, just as surely, as the old one…..PERMENANTLY.  The kitten becomes the Lion who was always there inside.

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Our struggles make us seek enlightenment from those around us and the stars above.  However, it is when we uncover the light within that we finally illuminate a path once enshrouded by our false sense of incompleteness ~ Dodinsky

One of the first things I share with Clients when we meet is that they are not alone.  That whatever their fears, hurts, bruises and sadnesses, there are others just like them who are feeling and experiencing many of the same issues.  As a human species, we have a need to belong.  Consider the work of Abraham Maslow who in 1943 wrote the article, "A Theory of Human Motivation", further expanded upon in his book: Toward a Psychology of BeingIn this article, Abraham Maslow attempted to formulate a needs-based framework of human motivation and it began with 4 (in order):

1. Physiological needs - Breathing, Thirst, Hunger, Sleep, Sex
2. Security needs - Physical Safety - freedom from attack
3. Social need - Interaction with People - belonging, affection, love

4. Psychological Safety Need - Self-esteem, reputation, status

He states that basic, low-level needs such as physiological requirements and safety must be satisfied before higher-level needs such as self-fulfillment are pursued. As depicted in this hierarchical diagram, sometimes called 'Maslow's Needs Pyramid' or 'Maslow's Needs Triangle', when a need is satisfied it no longer motivates and the next higher need takes its place.  

Needs must be satisfied in order:

1 & 2 = Early survival theories;
3 & 4 = The social theories involving interaction with others followed by cognitive needs and aesthetic need added later as requirements to achieve self actualization;
5 = The need for self fulfillment and self actualization.  Maslow has used a variety of terms to refer to this level:  He has called it growth motivation (in contrast to deficit motivation).  In the growth stage, we are open and filled with curiosity.  These are needs that do not involve balance or homeostasis.  Once they are activated, they continue to be felt.  In fact, they are likely to become stronger as we “feed” them!  They involve the continuous desire to fulfill potentials, to “be all that you can be.”  They are a matter of becoming the most complete, the fullest, “you” -- hence the term, self-actualization.
Now, in keeping with his theory up to this point, if you want to be truly self-actualizing, you need to have your lower needs taken care of, at least to a considerable extent.  This makes sense:  If you are hungry, you are look for food;  If you are unsafe, you have to be vigilent and on guard;  If you are isolated and feel unloved, you have to satisfy that need - find others;  If you have a low sense of self-esteem, you have to be defensive or compensate.  When lower needs are unmet, you can’t easily move forward to fulfil your potentials.

So, in my work with clients, some are not able to meet their basic needs. Others are able to do that but are unable to get to the next level as their self esteem is fractured.  They feel unworthy, not good enough, and find it difficult to connect with others.  Their need to belong is strong yet their fear of judgement keeps them from connecting on deep levels with others.

There is plenty of documentation to show that the fears we have for personal safety are not longer what our ancestors dealt with - the threat of being hurt of killed.  Early settlers were always alert to the danger of the elements, of attacks by wild animals and by wild humans.  The flight or fight drive within us was for the purpose of keeping us physically safe.  Our fears today, unless you live in a dangerous neighbourhood, are to protect our emotional safety.  We stress-out when we think we will be attacked.

Social anxiety, sometimes called "crippling shyness", is a prevalent issue with our children, teens and adults.  Just over 2 million Canadians aged 15 or older reported a "lifetime history" of social anxiety disorder, meaning that they had symptoms at some point in their lives. This represents about 8% of the population.

In 2002 alone, about 750,000 Canadians aged 15 or older, or about 3% of the population, reported that they had had symptoms of the disorder in the past year. These individuals had a higher risk of having major depressive disorder, panic disorder and dependency on illicit drugs and alcohol than did people in the general population (data from the Canadian Community Health Survey (CCHS) in 2002).
How to you find belonging when you are so afraid of being ridiculed, rejected and embarrassed?
Seek help..take a chance.  There are options that involve reaching your Doctor or a Counsellor.  Reach out to a close friend or to family.  They may not know you need them to support you.  Find a Hypnotyherapist.  As a Hypnotherapist, I help clients find the root of their loneliness, their fear and shyness.  We work together to reframe those past events that hurt them and change their perception about what happened, giving them back control.  It's about helping them heal their own sense of self, their ability to trust themselves and then others. 

If you are able to push back your boundaries, join an interest group (but start with a small one).  Join a supporty group like that offers forums and information.  It is internet based and doesn't require physical interaction.  If you're ready to meet others face to face, there is the Vancouver Social Anxiety Meetup Group or Extremely Shy-Looking for Friends which you can find on

Know that there is help out there and that you are not alone, even if you think you are.  Discover yourself and learn that even in the dark times there is invaluable learning. 

For more inspiring quotes:

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

As a teenager, I was part of a group of singers and dancers in my small town that performed around town at everything from Summer Fest to inauguration cermonies for the Elk's Club.  I enjoyed the opportunity to sing and impart our creativity to the local yocals. 
The most memorable performance, which I've never forgotten, was singing to the live-ins at a Senior's Centre.  Our Director decided that I was to sing "Always" written by Irving Berlin in 1925.  It was a popular WW2 song.
Little did I know how much it would affect the audience.  Nor did I realize the lasting impression it would have on me.  As I sang along and reached the chorus, a few voices raised to join mine.  These were the voices of the Pensioner's who remembered what it was like during the war and it touched them that a 15 year old could revive their memories and hearts.  I can say that it was a struggle to finish as I saw tears slide down a few wrinkled faces.  Afterwards, we all had tea and cookies and I sat talking to so many of these wise and wonderful people.  They had so much to say, so much knowledge to impart.  For an afternoon, they didn't feel pushed to the back of bus as un-needed, no longer productive.  I learned something so beautiful that day.  That their memories are our foundation.  That there is so much that they can offer if we just ask and take the time to listen.
I found this piece below and it brought it all back for me.  Our Elders are not disposable. They have what we have not yet attained.  Experience, knowledge and wisdom only acquired through many, many years of navigating this thing we call life.  As a society of nuclear families, we've lost the stories of our heritage, our ancestors, passed along orally.  No longer do we have Grandparent's who live with us or nearby to offer us the gift of love only they can give.  I wish I knew then what I know lucky I was to have Grandparents living with my parents for my first 11 years.  And I DO have stories that I cherish today.  I wish that I'd listened longer, asked more often to hear about their lives, and committed those treasures to heart.
So listen and learn from the lessons below.  90 years from now they will still be as valuable and recognizable as they are today. 

45 Life Lessons, written by a 90 year old  

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for things that matter.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose Life.
28. Forgive but don’t forget.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.
42. The best is yet to come…
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Saturday, 13 October 2012

100 Tips About Life, People and Happiness

Tonight my 18 year old Son introduced me to a site called  And I was impressed with what he'd been looking at and reading.  One particular piece of information provided on the site by was so arrow straight when thinking about how to make a happy life.  Simple yet so thought provoking - a hodge podge of ideas to turn you onto living a live more authentically. 

So I had to share.....

100 Tips About Life, People, and Happiness

1. True wisdom and insight is always free.

2. Give your power over to no one.

3. Going into the unknown is how you expand what is known.

4. Get a library card.

5. Spend more time around people that both challenge and respect you.

6. Remain skeptical forever.

7. Fight for what matters.

8. There is a method that works. Find it.

9. Join a movement.

10. Drink your coffee black.

11. Never let anyone photoshop a picture of you. It creates a false sense of self-confidence.

12. Read more. Especially things you disagree with.

13. Get used to feeling stupid. It’s a sign of growth.

14. It’s easy for people to talk a good game, so watch how they behave instead.

15. Learn something from everyone.

16. Find things that inspire you and pursue them, even if there’s no money in it.

17. Starve if you have to, for as long as you need to.

18. Survive on a little just to prove you can do it.

19. Get one big success at an early age. It’ll help build your confidence for bigger things.

20. Do what you say you’ll do. No one is reliable anymore.

21. Be comfortable with abandonment, even of parts of your identity.

22. Learn a new language.

23. Eat more protein.

24. Keep people around you that will tell you the truth.

25. Genius gets you nowhere. Execution is everything.

26. If given the choice of equity or cash, always take cash.

27. Meet new people as often as possible. Offer to help them.

28. Don’t discriminate. Connect anyone in your network to anyone else.

29. If you can’t do a pull-up, you have a problem.

30. Nobody likes a know-it-all.

31. Get a passport. Fill it up with stamps no one has ever seen.

33. Read biographies. It’s like having access to the best mentors in history.

34. Go to bed, and wake up, early. No one will bother you, letting your best work emerge.

35. Scare yourself a little bit every day. It will expand your inner map.

36. Learn to climb trees.

37. Don’t buy a lot of stuff, and only buy the stuff you really love.

38. Be humble and curious.

39. Twitter followers don’t keep you warm at night.

40. Be as useful as you can in as many circumstances as possible.

41. Show up.

42. Repeat people’s names when you meet them.

43. Turn internet access off your phone. Wifi is fine.

44. Get a deck of Oblique Strategies cards. Use them.

45. Make your home a place where you feel safe.

46. Take people up on bets. Make more bets yourself.

47. Take cold showers. They’re better than coffee.

48. Learn to enjoy hunger.

49. Make everything either shorter, or longer, than it needs to be.

50. Always remember those who helped you. Deliver two or three times as much value back.

51. But also, help people who have never helped you, and can’t.

52. When you know that pain is temporary, it affects all of your decisions.

53. Get a tattoo. Don’t worry about regret.

54. Commit to things, regularly, that are far beyond your ability.

55. Meet with friends more often than you think you have to.

56. Learn to meditate. Go on a retreat if you have to.

57. Your stories are both more and less interesting than you think.

58. Learn to really listen.

59. Walk more.

60. Ugly is just a step on the way to beautiful.

61. Get to know your neighbours.

62. Don’t take anything personally, ever.

63. Consider avoiding school. Go to lots of conferences instead.

64. As soon as you can, buy some art.

65. Apologize more than you need to.

66. Find out if there will be food there.

67. A good haircut changes everything.

68. Read Man’s Search For Meaning.

69. Say no to projects you don’t care about.

70. Do things that are uncool. Later on, they usually end up becoming cool anyway.

71. Find your voice.

72. Have some manners.

73. Learn to play chess, go, and bridge. They’ll keep you from going senile.

74. Learn about the Tetrapharmakos.

75. Find ways to cheat the system– just don’t cheat people.

76. Be like Jesus, not like his followers. (This applies to all of them.)

77. At least once, date someone that’s out of your league.

78. Examine your jealousy. You’ll learn a lot about yourself.

79. Good connections are about people, not social networks.

80. Address small problems. They will become big problems.

81. Dress like a cooler version of yourself.

82. Yes, there is such a thing as bad press.

83. Add “adventurer” to your Twitter bio. Then, become one.

84. If the internet is the best thing in your life, you have a serious problem.

86. Find mentors. Just don’t call them that.

87. Actually write on your blog. Nobody cares if it’s hard.

88. Download Freedom. Use it for an hour every day.

89. Join a gym. Lift the heaviest you can. (This applies to girls too.)

90. Do some freewriting. It helps you think things through.

91. When you’re having supper with rich people, pick up the cheque.

92. Learn how to speak in public.

93. If you see someone who needs help, stop asking yourself if they need help. Instead, just help.

94. Bring a bottle of wine.

95. The best conversations are had side by side, not one in front of the other.

96. Protect your hearing. Trust me.

97. Do what’s most important first thing in the morning, before you check email.

98. Everyone feels like they’re not good enough. It’s not just you.

99. Courage is a learned skill.

100. Go to Iceland. It’s worth it.