We Are ALL Hoarders!

We are all Hoarders!

Everytime I watch that Hoarding Reality show on television I cringe.  Here are these helpless, fearful and anxious people being bullied, cajolled and guilted into changing their lives by well-meaning family and professionals.  What the public doesn't understand is not what is obvious. Yes, the hoarding behavior is harmful and can cause health issues to the Hoarder.   That it isn't logical that they live surrounded by garbage and things that are suffocating them.

What they fail to understand is the subconsciously powerful impulse and urge to feel safe.  And the 'things' hoarded represent safety and familiarity.  And we all hoard something in our lives, whether it's a relationship, old clothing, or an attitude.

All of us hold on to outdated crap because we feel it still fits.  Imagine going into your closet and trying to put on what you wore as a 6 year old.  That's what the mind does.  Holds on to childhood beliefs and tries to make it 'fit'.  Or that pair of jeans that fit you once and you hold on with the hope that you'll get into them one day. 

Our thinking mind (logical mind) may justify why we hold on to weight, continue smoking, feel anxiety, etc.  We hoard bad relationships because staying is easier than leaving.  We endure crappy jobs that are unfulfilling because it takes too much effort to look for another and often justify behavior (staying and hating it) because it will offer up the "same crap, different office".  We hoard our angers because it's "their fault".  We refuse to fly in an airplane because it's dangerous.  We wash our hands over and over again because there are germs everywhere, unseen, and it's best to be preventative.  See what I mean about justifying?

But the key to our hoarding is that security really is what's familiar.  Our feeling mind (subconscious) drives our behaviour by our experiences.  It is an automatic, habitual mind.  100% percent of what is in our subconscious closet is based on beliefs that we formed as kids.  A fear of not being loved formed when Mom doesn't give the attention you need in a given moment.  Our beliefs are formed around perceptions of events, coming from a feeling (sad) and a thought (Mom doesn't love me/think I'm important, etc).  It has nothing to do with rationalization because during this innocent time we have no rational mind to logically analyze that logically, Mom loves us. She's just busy, or had a bad day, or has PMS.  From that first moment, that belief affects how we see ourselves in the world, as unlovable.  And if we are unlovable, we can't be worth much.  So it shows up in our relationships, be they of the heart or of the workplace or social.  Thus all the clothing from infancy to about 6 years old is still in our closets today.  The conscious mind may want to revamp that closet.  It may understand that these outfits, labels, and perceptions don't fit.   But this same mind is up against the inner mind, who guards what it believes YOU believe with ruthless efficiency.  And if that logical thought isn't in line with the beliefs we hold subconsciously, it won't let it in.  So the new outfit gets thrown in the trash or given to Sally Ann.

I want to lose weight.  That's the thought.  Logical/thinking mind analyzes it for harmony with existing beliefs.  It finds that the subconscious mind holds a belief that you think you're ugly or not lovable, that to be skinny would attract the opposite sex and then you'd be in a situation where you'd fail anyway because you're not lovable so it keeps the weight on AS A SHIELD on the body.  As long as the weight is on, you don't have to face the unlovable feeling, the sad feeling, etc.

I want to have a clean, uncluttered life.  Again, that's a thought.  And if there is a belief about your not having control, that you are not capable enought, smart enough, confident enough, good enough, then you find control wherever you can.  In the case of hoarders, it's control of your home and what you put in it and keep stored inside it.  The lose of the control is likened to the loss of the self and all that is important to you and what defines you. A hoarder doesn't define himself as a hoarder.  He defines himself as someone who needs to hold on to things.  For emotional safety. 

So, to heal this pattern of behavior one needs to examine the powerful engine behind the actions.  To seek help to heal the past and not just what is happening in the now.  To address the issue directly is like pulling weeds and expecting them to be gone forever.
The root is still below the surface and regrows with any stimulation.  It's like looking at an iceberg and seeing only the tip.  But under the surface exists its vast bulk, below the level of what the eye can see.

Know that each of use has the ability to change our minds.  But we must first arrive at the point where we ask ourselves, "Have I had enough yet?"  We can clear out the debris that surrounds us or drown under the weight of the same debris disguised as protection.  Find help that involves reaching into the inner mind that can and will change.  Know that the process is wrought with emotion but sit in the knowledge that whatever caused the hurts were survived for the proof is that you are here. 

A New Way Of Looking At A New Year...Lie....Cheat...Drink, Swear and Steal

This year, be sure to

LIE, CHEAT, DRINK, SWEAR and STEAL

more than you did last year.

"At the beginning of each new year, it is traditional to make resolutions about things that we want to accomplish in the year to come.

Usually, they have to do with losing weight, trying to stop smoking, working harder, getting fit, taking a course or something like that. Often our resolutions are more to impress other people than to improve ourselves and the problem is that we seldom take them seriously therefore we seldom accomplish them.

This year let's come up with resolutions that are fun, easy to comply with and that will make a big difference in our lives.

From now on resolve to LIE, CHEAT, DRINK, SWEAR and STEAL more than you have before.

LIE back and relax just a little more this year. Let a little more life happen to you. Take time to appreciate the wonder of life. Stop and watch a sunset. Get up early and experience a sunrise. When you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed stop a moment and ask “Is it worth it? How important is it really? I don't think that anyone on their deathbed has ever regretted not working harder but I'll guarantee that many people regret not having had more fun and taking more time to enjoy life.

CHEAT failure. Don't be afraid to try something new because you think you may fail. Be excited at the opportunity just because you might succeed. The only true failure is the failure to attempt. The feeling of failure is merely that, a feeling. Failure is really just getting a result that you did not expect or want. By reviewing your actions and evaluating the result you are now in a great position to start again more intelligently, at least you know what doesn't work. So cheat failure!  Learn from your results and fail forward.

DRINK from the fountain of knowledge. Learn as much as you can about as much as you can. Many people have already been down the roads you want to travel. You can gain from their experience by learning from the mistakes they made and the successes they achieved. Take what you learn from them and use it to make your journey easier.

SWEAR to do your best. All the time, in every situation. That is all anybody will ever ask. You can't do better than your best and you should resolve to never do less than your best. Treat everything that you do as important. Remember that every action is a building block of your past and the foundation of your future.

STEAL a little time for yourself. Everyday take a little time to develop a stronger relationship with the one and only YOU. Realise that you are the most important person in your life for without you, there is nothing else in your life. The state that you are in will determine the shape of your world so go ahead, treat yourself as the special creation that you are. The world will not come to an end if you take a break but you might break down if you don't. Remember that when you are running so fast to get where you are going you miss all the wonder that this world is showing.

So, if you lie, cheat, drink, swear and steal just a little more in this year, you will have a profitable and enjoyable year."

Thank you, John, for sharing this and I'm paying it forward!

Holding A Grudge Is Letting Someone Live Rent Free In Your Head!

I heard this little ditty recently when my Boyfriend brought it up in his humorous way (not directed at me, of course).  It made me think more deeply about the work I do with Clients to help them free themselves from old and new hurts in their bleeding hearts. Many enter my office with guns drawn, aimed at all those people that have caused them grief, guilt, anger, sadness, shame and a plethora of other wounds.  After an initial venting period, which is helpful in itself, in which I listen and nod to let them know I hear what they are saying, I then say, at the risk of being shot myself, “What if I told you that these feelings hurt no one but you?   That no one nor anything can actually hurt you unless you let them?”   Most of the time my client will then nod to me in agreement and express with frustration that they just can’t help themselves.  A small majority look at me like I’ve grown a second head!

The statement that others make us feel a certain way is FALSE.  It’s not your boyfriend or girlfriend who’s made you sad, or angry, or guilty or alone. No one makes you feel anything.  You allow YOURSELF to feel certain feelings based on your perception of what others are saying or doing to you.  Here enters an ability we all have to help guide us through life’s tribulations - free will.  It is important to know then, that we ALL react from our own, limited perceptions of ourselves and the world.  We base our beliefs on perceptions that were not ours to begin with. They were those passed along by our family, our religious or spiritual Leaders, our ethnic backgrounds, our society.  We were taught to act in a certain way, think in a certain way, feel in a certain way based on what was expected of us. And how did we form these perceptions of ourselves and our place?  Based on EMOTIONS.. how something FELT when we first experienced it.  Although our learning was taught to us with our “best interests at heart” by our major role models, the education we received on how to navigate the world was not always good for us.  For example, if a Mother stays in a violent relationship, her daughter may likely find herself in an abusive relationship as an adult because this is what she perceives to be her worth.  It was what she witnessed as a child!  That is what she learned from watching her Mother.  She learned that “love hurts”.  Is there a choice?  Yes, there is always free will!

Nothing that anyone says or does to us affects who we are.  Listen again, very closely, to this basic truth…..NOTHING that anyone SAYS or DOES to us affects WHO WE ARE.  Only allowing it to affect us can do that.  People judge based on their OWN perceptions, their OWN beliefs, their OWN preconceived notions of how others should think, act and behave.  They use their OWN measuring stick based on all that they learned from their OWN family’s education.  Is it the truth?  It is for them and only them.  It is not about YOU. When someone judges us, they are mirroring their own dissatisfactions about themselves and their world ONTO you.  And that can’t hurt you.  Whatever someone SAYS or DOES to you cannot hurt you.  It’s the old “Sticks and stones may break my bones but WORDS will never hurt me”.  This is the truth! What CAN hurt you is the ALLOWING of the words to affect you.  And only YOU can do that.  Just THINKING about something someone said or did to you can hurt you.  Because thought gives the words and actions POWER.  That is what is meant by “giving your Power away”.  You give the other person’s words and actions POWER because you gave their words and actions your thought….your attention.  And you have CHOICES. You always have the CHOICE to ignore those things, to choose which things that truly call for action and which do not. It’s always YOUR choice to act on something or to ignore it.

Is this person (or situation) still in your head, raising hell, because you allow it? Yes, you let them live there. Perhaps for a week or a month or for years!!! Take time to examine the anger or frustration you feel. And look deeper to find the sadness underneath as a deep sea diver searching for buried treasure.  The gold you will find is in the quiet depths of your mind, the insight that has always been there.  Perhaps you’ll find that you hold the grudge because this person’s words or actions had you feeling small or helpless.  And to feel this way and have this thought then there must be a core belief giving it power.  So the words thrust at you in anger or jealousy in themselves had no effect unless you allowed them in to trigger an old, outdated belief about yourself. So you can look at yourself and ask, “Am I really small and helpless or do I have a choice to continue believing this?”  The answer will invariably be ‘no’.  By holding on to a grudge, it’s you that hurts yet expect the other person to be the one to hurt.  Rather than continue, a call to action is required and that action is forgiveness.  Forgiveness isn’t something to be doled out sparingly to those we feel deserve it.  It isn’t given out rated on the degree of harm or injury to yourself.  It is instead a deliberate thought process powered by feelings (positive feelings, that is) that sets you free.  It allows you to vacate the part of your mind that has occupied a free-loader.  Remember that you are the Landlord, and that it is your right to say “enough”.  And with that clean and empty room in the house of your Mind, you can choose peace and self esteem to decorate the space that is ultimately yours.

 

A Chinese Parable That Teaches Self Acceptance

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her shoulders.  One of the Pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to her house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walked back, you watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding."

To love is to look for the good in anything and anyone.  If you look with your heart you will find that each of us is beautifully unique. Imagine what the world would be like if we were all the same...cut from the same cookie cutter?  Dull is what I think.  Our personalities, our experiences, our beliefs and thoughts all form the amazing people we are.  If we could see the beauty in each other, we would see that what truly unites us is our Spirit..our Essence.  The outside may look different.  Our strengths may differ.  But we are all equally worthy and all creators with a right to the space we occupy in this World. 

If you believe differently, I ask you respectfully to examine your beliefs and from where they came.  Perhaps they weren't yours to begin with but passed along by family and/or circumstances.  Then ask yourself, "Is this my truth?"  And then quietly 'feel' the answer come to you for your heart will whisper or roar what your truth really is.  Be surprised, be moved, be questioning.  For you can change your beliefs simply by beginning to observe them. 

The Butterfly Lesson

One day, a small opening appeared in a cocoon; a man sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.

It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could not go any further. Then, it seems to stop making any progress.

So the man decided to help the butterfly: he took a pair of scissors and opened the cocoon.

The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a withered body, it was tiny and had shrivelled wings.

The man continued to watch because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would open, enlarge and expand, to be able to support the butterfly’s body, and become firm.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a withered body and shrivelled wings. It never was able to fly.

What the man, in his kindness and his goodwill did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening, were natures way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings, so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life.

LESSON EXAMPLES:

 
The cocoon can represent our preceptions about ourselves and our lives. It is about the power of our thoughts to create a perception of whether we BELIEVE our world is a PRISON or a CLASSROOM. The beauty of this is that thoughts never leave their source and we ALL have the capacity to CHOOSE. We either evolve and become amazing human beings based on our personal definitions of what that is or metaphorically 'die' in a prison surrounded by bars we ourselves created subconsciously.

Sometimes, our experiences require us to go into a "cocoon" to rest before emerging once again.  That rest may signify our going inside ourselves to ask the tide-turning question, "Have I had enough yet?"  As human beings, we have learned that security is that which is familiar.  That has nothing to do with pleasure.  We prove this by staying in relationships, jobs, and lives that are toxic to us but because they are familiar, the fear of the unknown keeps us prisoner within our own life experiences.  When we recognize we've had enough, and realize we can't expect our efforts, so far, to produce a different result unless we CHANGE, that's when we can begin to emerge.  This is the time we open to what and who we really are and feel our worth.  It comes after the time we sat quietly, feeling our feelings in order to bring them to the light.  It is only through feeling that we can connect to that part of us that guides our beliefs and values.  The language of this feeling, habitual mind, the Subconscious Mind, IS feelings, metaphor, symbols and imagery.

It may seem that when we emerge,  we are alone having to endure pain.  I do believe that our greatest lessons come from our greatest, deepest hurtful experiences.  As beautifully said by the Poet, Anais Nin, "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk to blossum".   The opening to inner change does not mean that we cannot reach out.  There is no requirement that our growth be solitary.  Yes, the process is one that we walk alone but we can invite supporters to cheer us on at the sidelines.  Our nature does not perclude us from receiving a helping hand nor is it damaging when we seek help from those who care for us or from those who are trained to help with self change.  

If we were meant to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us.  We learn by contrast.  How would we know inner strength had we not felt weak?  How would we recognize happiness had we never cried in sadness.  It is the very experiences of our lives that define who we are and are capable of becoming.  We would not be as strong as we could have been without the lessons we've endured.  Without them, we would never have been able to fly.

Sometimes, a little extra effort is precisely what prepares us for the next obstacle to be faced. Anyone who refuses to make that effort, or doesn't seek help, is left unprepared to face the next battle and never manages to fly off to their destiny.

Self Sabotage: Why would anyone want to do that...over and over again!

 The dictionary definition of sabotage is "an act or process tending to hamper or hurt" or "deliberate subversion". “Any undermining of a cause, or priority”.  So the definition of self-sabotage would be, “Any undermining of your own cause or priority which hampers or hurts you. “  Okay then. Why would we want to sabotage our Self? That's a complicated answer. And an easy one, too.  We make that choice.

It's all about programming.  It’s about the negative self talk that takes place subconsciously, when you are NOT consciously aware of what that nasty voice is saying in the background of our minds.


Imagine being at a movie theatre, watching a good flick, and there’s this voice spouting dribble a row behind you.  You stay focused on what’s happening on the screen but you are slightly aware by the tone of the voice, perhaps not catching the words, that the person behind is not into the movie as you are.  It’s perhaps slightly irritating to you. But you choose to ignore it OR not.  If you do ignore it, you choose to tune the irritator out and enjoy the movie.  If you don't, that’s when you turn around and with an intimidating look, tell the doomsayer to be quiet and continue to watch the movie IF the person stops talking.

The doomsayers of the mind are the parts of us that are protecting a belief that may be contrary to what you logically want.  It's important to note that the subconscious mind is the single most powerful goal oriented mechanism known to man!!!  I just can’t say that enough.  Let’s say you procrastinate doing the homework for a night course you’re taking that will help you get a promotion at work.  You find a zillion excuses to not do it.  “I’m tired from working all day and need a break right now”; “I have to do the laundry first or I won’t have any clean clothes to wear to work tomorrow”; “Maybe this isn’t for me”; “I’ll do it later when I have more energy ... time....brain cells”.  Are any of these excuses going to get you the promotion?  Sure, dressing in clean clothes might make an impression on your boss who is holding the reigns to your future.  Yes, being bleary eyed tired might put a damper on that impression as well.  But what you REALLY want is to get the promotion which will increase your income and self esteem. 

Logically, you know you have the skills and can do the job better than Mark or Tom or Carol who are also jockeying for the job.  You have the drive and passion to climb the corporate ladder.  This is what encouraged you to throw your name in the hat.  You also recognize that you need more experience in a particular area required by the new position.  And you know that Mark and Carol have that.  Thus you are taking the crash course in “Accounting in your Sleep”.

So how is it that you know that this course is vital to your professional growth yet all that excitement and drive is deflating and shrivelling like a 3 day old birthday balloon?  Because your subconscious mind has other plans for you.  And they’re based on a belief that YOU YOURSELF believe about YOURSELF.  And it’s an UNCONSCIOUS belief, which means you aren’t aware of the belief consciously nor even remember what the belief is at this point.

Willpower is a conscious mind function. It’s when we use action and energy to move towards something.  But it’s not coming from the powerful inner mind.  And it fizzes out in the face of the ruthlessly efficent subconscious and its goals.  Let’s say that the belief is that you’re not good enough.  And that belief extends to your professional life.  The subconscious mind will protect this belief because it’s yours!  You came to believe this at a time when you had no control of what was happening around you.  So the subconscious mind sees you going for the promotion as a threat to that belief.  That in its pursuit, you will ultimately be hurt emotionally because you’re not good enough to handle the new responsibilities!  You believe that (subconsciously)!  So it begins its strategising to ensure you don’t go through with it. Our National Defence departments could learn from this part of the mind big time.  Being an imaginative and emotional mind and goal oriented, it will use feelings to sabotage the movement toward a goal it sees as not being possible.  It’s not a realistic mind nor a judging mind.  It’s not doing all this to make you feel bad.  It’s doing all this to help you AVOID feeling bad.

Thus, slowly but surely (or quickly and surely), you begin to feel nervous and doubt yourself.  You may or may not wonder where the excitement and drive went.  Well, it was booted out the door.  Now, the logical, conscious mind doesn't recognize feelings. It uses language to interpret and justify so that we feel sane in our world. We feel something (and it doesn't feel good) so the logical mind begins its thought process to justify the feeling. I.e. "that promotion isn't worth my time and effort", "it's not the right time", etc.  You find ways to avoid the task, and the thought of the task becomes greater than the task itself. 

And the logical mind is in cahoots with the subconscious mind.  Because it’s the rationalizer.  It’s our judge and jury.  The logical mind shields the subconscious mind from the outside world.  If an incoming sensory message from the outside is not deemed in HARMONY with the established subconscious belief, it gets rid of it.  It’s like shooting a BB gun at a brick wall.   All the will power in the world will not override this.  If you’d stopped and listened to yourself as you made the decision to go for the promotion, you may have heard your OWN inner voice telling you that it’s a bad idea.  That you really don’t have what it takes.  You may have noticed the feelings that accompany the voice as well, such as fear, nervousness, anxiety, saddness.  But you soldiered on due to will power and the original though that it was logical.  Logical or not, it won’t happen if the subconscious mind isn’t on board that train to the next stop on your route to professional growth.

Fear is the motivator of the subconscious mind.  Many of us are too frightened to even imagine making changes to our lives.  Security is that which is familiar.  If you stay in your job, your marriage, your LIFE as it is, then you at least know what you are dealing with.  We resist change.  To use an extreme example, how many of us have read about abused women who stayed in that abusive relationship until one day they had the courage to leave.  You might ask yourself, “Why the heck didn’t she leave the first time he used her as a punching bag?”  It’s because the evil you know is better than the evil you don’t know. The fear of the unknown is a powerful thing.  These women are no different than any of us!  What makes them do what we would not is their own state of self worth, their internal BELIEF. 

We are all guided by our personal values, morals and beliefs.   We all have some form of fractured sense of value.  And when experiences have continuously battered that fragile piece that knows we ARE worthy of being treated with respect, the belief that we are NOT only gets stronger.  It’s the law of compounding, no pun intended.  Again, it’s the belief that you aren’t good enough, loveable enough, important enough, that guides our choices.  And the subconscious mind is in the driver’s seat.  It perpetuates the belief by having us choose the situations (again, subconsciously and without judgement) that perpetuate the belief.  For example, choosing abusive men to have relationships with.  And if an abused woman were to look at her history, she would begin to notice that each relationship choice was progressively MORE abusive.  Why?  Because each experience only reinforced the belief that she deserves to be physically and emotionally abused.  She doesn’t feel she deserves any better.  And because it’s not rational, she believes that somehow, it’s her fault anyway!!!!  It’s her inner child that says and feels this.  That child in her came to believe by her perceptions based on experiences in her early life that if she were better, more helpful, quieter, more invisible, that she would then be a good girl and receive the love and respect and attention she deserves (which she always deserved to begin with). Many men and women today learned by their childhood experiences that love "hurts".  So their choices will always reflect that belief until the belief changes.

So what can we do to stop this?  A good place to begin is to put on hold the behaviour for a moment and step back from being the Participant in your life without choice.  When you do this, you can observe what you are doing.  Become aware of why you are sabotaging yourself.  Close your eyes and listen to your “self” and you will hear the clues to why you do what you do.  Go with the first thought that comes to your mind.  This puts you on the road to making more conscious choices to create what you do want in your life.  Read books.  Journal your thoughts to work through the procrastination to get to the root issue.  Make a list of all the times you’ve procrastinated in one column and in the next, write out what you did to self sabotage.  Noticing behaviour brings it to conscious attention.  Then create a plan to begin practising better habits.  Know thyself.  This will help you have more control vs. feeling mindless about what you say, think and do.  It’s easy to point fingers and look outside ourselves.  But the answer and the impetus for the behaviour are inside ourselves.  In a situation where it’s likely to happen, watch your thoughts, be aware of the impulse to sabotage yourself, say “That’s interesting” and let them pass away before you act. 

I believe that the Universe supports us in every thought we choose to think. If we think we can’t – we can’t. If we think we can, we CAN.  It's important to give your goal oriented mind strong, positive affirmations so that it does exactly what you want it to do. Give yourself the gift of patience and love – you will get positive results!

Include seeking help to ultimately discover the root of the belief that causes you to self sabotage so that you can change it.  Just working with affirmations will take a LONG TIME to make any permanent changes.  Learning Self Hynosis and practising working with your inner mind will provide results in less time because the key is to access the subconscious mind which is the only part of your mind that can make permanent and long-lasting changes.  It is the habit forming mind, so you have the ability to form new, healthy habits about yourself that will drive your thoughts and actions towards what you truly deserve.

My advise for making those changes in a shorter amount of time is Hypnotherapy, working with a professionally trained Hypnotherapist.  It works!!  It's the deepest form of therapy for life changes. I've done my own inner work and continue to do so because I am learning I DESERVE HAPPINESS.  And I see it daily with clients in my practise.  People rolling up their sleeves to do something new to help themselves change.  Unfortunately, many clients come to me and say I'm their last resort.  They are so tired and at the end of their rope.  I always wish at that point that they had discovered this therapy earlier but also believe that when a person is ready to really dig deep, to educate themselves about what choices they have in self healing therapies, they'll be ready to walk through my door.    Find a Hypnotherapist in your area who can facilitate that change.  Know that you deserve to have what you desire and that their is more than hope for change.  I look at myself as a Mind Coach, partnering with clients to 'change their minds' about self sabotaging beliefs.  It's more than Hypnosis (a technique to gain access to the subconscious mind that we ALL do naturally), it's about being trained to handle all that the clients subconscious mind brings up.  Go with your gut when making a choice.  If you are speaking to a Hypnotherapist when making an inquiry, not only listen to how you feel about what they say about the process but how you feel about the person.  This person is going to work with you to guide you to unearth the knowledge you already have about why you feel the way you do, why you act as you do, why you think as you do.  This is very vulnerable work and trust is so important. 

"In oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look and learn, the door is there and the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself."
Jiddu Krishnamurti

Acres of Diamonds...You Are Unknowingly Sitting On One Right Now!!

My wonderful weapon of information, John Malone, brought to my attention an interesting TRUE story about an African farmer who sought his dream of riches without ever considering looking in his proverbial back yard. 

This is true story with an ageless moral.  It got me thinking about my own life and how I, many times, felt that what I needed to make me happy was or “over there”.  Certainly it wasn’t were I was standing.  So I toiled and strove and climbed to get “over there”.  Yet, as I could predict NOW, after settling in the “over there” spot which I thought would represent my happiness and self actualization, I’d soon find it didn’t fulfill me, didn’t have me happier, richer, more peaceful, more accepted, or more loved.  So back to the drawing board I’d go, ever the optimist that the riches were now “over there” (further, of course, than over here.  I should have been a long distance runner.  Wait a minute, I was!)  And the saga continued like hamster in a wheel who thinks she’s going somewhere but actually is...not!.  The damn grass was NEVER greener on the other side.  But I had a great capacity to justify that by telling myself it was the wrong SHADE.  Looking back now, as one always does, if the grass was greener it’s because it was being given better care than my own.

The farm turned out to be the Kimberly Diamond Mine...the richest the world has ever known. The original farmer was literally standing on "Acres of Diamonds" until he sold his farm.

So read on and you’ll perhaps see yourself in this story.

ACRES OF DIAMONDS

The story — a true one — is told of an African farmer who heard tales about other farmers who had made millions by discovering diamond mines. These tales so excited the farmer that he could hardly wait to sell his farm and go prospecting for diamonds himself. He sold the farm and spent the rest of his life wandering the African continent searching unsuccessfully for the gleaming gems that brought such high prices on the markets of the world. Finally, worn out and in a fit of despondency, he threw himself into a river and drowned.

Meanwhile, the man who had bought his farm happened to be crossing the small stream on the property one day, when suddenly there was a bright flash of blue and red light from the stream bottom. He bent down and picked up a stone. It was a good-sized stone, and admiring it, he brought it home and put it on his fireplace mantel as an interesting curiosity.

Several weeks later a visitor picked up the stone, looked closely at it, hefted it in his hand, and nearly fainted. He asked the farmer if he knew what he'd found. When the farmer said, no, that he thought it was a piece of crystal, the visitor told him he had found one of the largest diamonds ever discovered. The farmer had trouble believing that. He told the man that his creek was full of such stones, not all as large as the one on the mantel, but sprinkled generously throughout the creek bottom.

The farm the first farmer had sold, so that he might find a diamond mine, turned out to be one of the most productive diamond mines on the entire African continent.The first farmer had owned, free and clear ... acres of diamonds. But he had sold them for practically nothing, in order to look for them elsewhere. The moral is clear: If the first farmer had only taken the time to study and prepare himself to learn what diamonds looked like in their rough state, and to thoroughly explore the property he had before looking elsewhere, all of his wildest dreams would have come true.

Millions of people have been touched by this story and it's because of the idea that each of us is, at this very moment, standing in the middle of our own acres of diamonds. If we quietly assess our 'riches' - our health, our friendships, our work, the people who love us, we would realise that what we seek is already right in front of us.  With the right attitude, we realize that we are walking on our own Acre of Diamonds.  It's right under your feet :)