I found this on www.marcandangel.com and it resonated.  So I want to share it with you!

12 Tough Truths that Help You Grow

As you look back on your life, you will often realize that many of the times you thought you were being rejected from something good, you were in fact being redirected to something better. You can’t control everything. Sometimes you just need to relax and have faith that things will work out. Let go a little and just let life happen. Because sometimes the truths you can’t change, end up changing you and helping you grow.

Here are twelve such truths…

1.     Everything is as it should be. It’s crazy how you always end up where you’re meant to be – how even the most tragic and stressful situations eventually teach you important lessons that you never dreamed you were going to learn. Remember, oftentimes when things are falling apart, they are actually falling into place.

 

2.     Not until you are lost in this world can you begin to find your true self. Realizing you are lost is the first step to living the life you want. The second step is leaving the life you don’t want. Making a big life change is pretty scary. But you know what’s even scarier? Regret. Vision without action is a daydream, and action without vision is a nightmare. Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it.

 

3.     It’s usually the deepest pain which empowers you to grow to your full potential. It’s the scary, stressful choices that end up being the most worthwhile. Without pain, there would be no change. But remember, pain, just like everything in life, is meant to be learned from and then released.

 

4.     One of the hardest decisions you will ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or take another step forward. If you catch yourself in a cycle of trying to change someone, or defending yourself again someone who is trying to change you, walk away. But if you are pursuing a dream, take another step. And don’t forget that sometimes this step will involve modifying your dream, or planning a new one – it’s OK to change your mind or have more than one dream.

 

5.     You have to take care of yourself first. Before befriending others, you have to be your own friend. Before correcting others, you have to correct yourself. Before making others happy, you have to make yourself happy. It’s not called selfishness, it’s called personal development. Once you balance yourself, only then can you balance the world around you.

 

6.     One of the greatest freedoms is truly not caring what everyone else thinks of you. As long as you are worried about what others think of you, you are owned by them. Only when you require no approval from outside yourself, can you own yourself.

 

7.     You may need to be single for awhile before you realize that, although the co-owned belongings from your failed relationships might not have been divided equally, the issues that destroyed the relationships likely were. For how can you stand confidently alone, or see the same issues arising in your newest relationship, and not realize which broken pieces belong to you? Owning your issues, and dealing with them, will make you far happier in the long run, than owning anything else in this world.

 

8.     The only thing you can absolutely control is how you react to things out of your control. The more you can adapt to the situations in life, the more powerful your highs will be, and the more quickly you’ll be able to bounce back from the lows in your life. Put most simply: being at peace means being in a state of complete acceptance of all that is, right here, right now.

 

9.     Some people will lie to you. Remember, an honest enemy is better than a friend who lies. Pay less attention to what people say, and more attention to what they do. Their actions will show you the truth, which will help you measure the true quality of your relationship in the long-term.

 

10.         If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never have enough. If you are thankful for what you do have, you will end up having even more. Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold; happiness dwells in the soul. Abundance is not about how much you have, it’s how you feel about what you have. When you take things for granted, your happiness gets taken away.

 

11.         Yes, you have failed in the past. But don’t judge yourself by your past, you don’t live there anymore. Just because you’re not where you want to be today doesn’t mean you won’t be there someday. You can turn it all around in the blink of an eye by making a simple choice to stand back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again.

 

12.         Everything is going to be alright; maybe not today, but eventually. There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong. And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t. Sure the sun stops shining sometimes, and you may get a huge thunderstorm or two, but eventually the sun will come out to shine. Sometimes it’s just a matter of us staying as positive as possible in order to make it to see the sunshine break through the clouds again.

http://www.marcandangel.com

Pretalk on First Hypnotherapy Session...the Real Deal



I just had a new client starting their journey yesterday.  And it made me think more closely about what I say to them about the journey they are embarking on and how it applies to all of us.  It also reminds me that I have to be even more authentic in my own process, and not just practice what I preach :) 

This is a summation of my talk:

"I'm asking you to take a leap of faith.  It's time to leave what you THINK you know about yourself and THINK is the cause of what's working against you behind my office door.  In so doing, you can be truly open and vulnerable to your truth.

It may seem scary to you at the moment, but I can tell you from experience that it is only by this total surrender that you can hear your own authentic voice and heal the broken pieces of your heart.  It is only by meeting 'yourself' that you can begin the process on uniting all that you are with all you can be. 

Take a chance and let yourself break open so that you can rise from the ashes of the old, as did the mystical Phoenix of lore, as a fusion of what you were, what you REALLY are and what you are yet to become"

I also recommend a wonderful book I just finished reading that talks about this process in a easy reading style.  "Broken Open" by Elizabeth Lesser

Is There A Difference Between Meditation and Hypnosis?

 

Is There A Difference Between Mediation and Hypnosis?   

I have found that in many talks that I do about Hypnosis and with clients on our initial session, people think that meditation is different from Hypnosis or they ask if it is.  Some feel that they can meditate but not master hypnosis.  Well, the good news is that they are very similar. 

Many of the techniques that are used in meditation are the same with hypnosis.  The principle of both is to relax the mind.  To do that, guided visualization is used in both techniques.  In hypnosis, Hypnotherapist use a technique called Progressive Relaxation which focuses the mind on relaxing the body.  Each part of the body is relaxed, one at a time.  It is deliciously calming.  I also use visualizations that the client has informed me work well to relax them, such as sitting in a meadow among wild flowers, sitting in an Adirondack chair gazing at a still lake, or strolling along the ocean shore at sunset.  Those people that have used meditation before hypnosis recognize the similarities right away.

So what is the difference?

Meditation is used to quiet the mind.  There is no thinking involved.   When conscious thoughts creep in, then repeating mantras or just finding something quite to focus on will move them away.  Focusing on breathing is one of the simplest ways to quiet the mind because focusing on one thing (breath, image) quiets the mind.

Hypnotherapy happens when there is a specific aim to provide therapeutic healing.  There is action involved once the quiet state of mind is attained.  A Hypnotherapist will use meditation techniques to attain the level of mental quietness needed in order to work with the subconscious mind to make change.  This is when the mind is open to therapeutic suggestions for change that the client is looking to achieve in their lives, such as overcoming anxiety, a phobia or fear, healing their sense of self esteem, reducing weight, etc.

Even though both Hypnosis and meditation require a calmed mind, the mediator reaches their goal from stilling their mind and relaxing it.  With Hypnosis, the benefits happen after this state.  A quiet mind is the spring board into the depth of the mind that holds and protects feelings attached to beliefs that are causing the client discomfort physically, emotionally or both.

A Hypnotherapist will use imagery and metaphor, as well as Regression Therapy (if they are trained in its mastery) in order to best create the changes within the subconscious mind to attain mental and physical health… to facilitate change.  It is the subconscious part of the mind that is then power behind all of your feelings, thoughts, actions and habits. It is the single most powerful and goal oriented mechanism known to mankind and it is not rational.  As much as a person can tell themselves (or be told) to stop smoking because it’s harmful to her health, they continue.  The subconscious mind has another plan.  The smoking is a coping mechanism that masks hurtful feelings from the past, such as sadness, loneliness, anger. And because the conscious rational mind and the subconscious mind do not communicate, the conscious want (to stop smoking) doesn’t reach the subconscious mind.  It’s actually in the way of the subconscious mind which is the ONLY part of the mind that can make the changes we desire!  Our logical mind is a ‘thinker”.  Our subconscious mind is a ‘feeler’.  It’s like the languages Mandarin and Cantonese. Both are Chinese languages but completely different.

Hypnotherapy is simply the vehicle which provides the bypass of the thinking, logical, rational mind so that the positive messages can be passed to the subconscious mind for change.

Hypnosis is not better for you because it adds another level to the meditation.  Simply quieting the mind can bring up deep and powerful insights without any effort. The mind, just like the body, needs to have down time.  Meditation is an excellent way to give the mind a break, so that it can work more efficiently.  And hypnosis and meditation can both be used to help someone change.

Define Your Moment

"When a defining moment comes along, you can do one of two things. Define the moment, or let the moment define you".

This quote is from the Movie, "Tin Cup".  It's about making choices.  It's about living without regret because you let something in your past define who you think you are or what you can or cannot do.

Webster's Dictionary defines Free Will as:

1 : voluntary choice or decision - I do this of my own free will-

2 : freedom of humans to make choices that are not determined by prior causes or by divine intervention

 

The second definition resounds with so much truth.  To have free will, we make a choice that is not about our past experiences, our failures, our feelings about ourselves.  It's when we make a choice based on what feels RIGHT in the moment.  It can be as simple as going on a date for the first time and ignoring the self talk that tells you it will probably not go well and that he'll have bad breath like the last.  It can be as complicated as having anxiety in the days leading up to your wedding and choosing to go ahead because you love this person and not desisting because you don't feel worthy of someone so amazing.  These are all real examples from clients I've worked with.  Every person is the TRUE source of his or her thoughts and actions. 

 

Within every moment is the beauty of free will.  No one holds a gun to your head to make you do anything.  Even someone's cruel words towards you have no effect when you know who you are.  There again is free will. The choice to choose to act of what is said or done to you, or to ignore it so that their words fall off you like water off a ducks back. 

 

If you listen to your gut, if you open to your intuition, you will make the right decision in the moment.  How many times have you done something, basing the choice on what your head tells you and not your heart.  And how many times have you told yourself, "I should have listened to my gut" because your head led you in the wrong direction.  I know I have. 

 

Don't rush when making choices, no matter how important they may be.  It is in the quiet space between the musical notes that you find the meaning, through emotion (how it moves you), of the piece.  Without that quiet, it would all be noise.

 

Mediate, or just stop,close your eyes, and go inside yourself. And in that silence, put out and compare your choices.  The one that echoes back to you with joy, relief, warmth, happiness, calmness, or quietness is the one to go with.  It is the one your heart and soul know is right for you.  And that feeling will come in the now, not from the past.  Such a simple technique yet so powerful. 

Then .. act!  You've defined the moment by making a choice that felt right to you and for you.

"Life is like a game of cards.  The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will".  Jawaharal Nehru

 

 

 

“Liberation occurs when you give up your story”

 

Freedom comes when you finally choose to let go.  When you let go of all that you think you are and move towards what you really are, you become limitless.

If you listen closely to yourself, whether or not you’ve reached the depths of despair, there will come a time when you will find that it is necessary to let things go. And despair is a tremendous motivator.  Let go of fettering beliefs that hold you back.  Maybe it’s because they are too heavy. Maybe it’s because they are shackling you.  Maybe it’s because you are constantly tripping over them, with bleeding knees.  Maybe it’s because you’re tired of the pain of those bloodied knees!

 Your story was not written by you.  You may have forgotten that as you looked to the world to define you.  Take the pen and begin again with the ink of free will.  Choose not to wear your story like an old pair of pants that are tattered and ill fitting.  Choose instead to courageously go through your “closet” and, with determination, throw out what no longer suits you nor fits your tastes today.  Let the story you re-write breathe and give it room to bend to the winds of change and the flexibility to allow for choice as you desire them.

 Let go of anger that blocks your ability to speak your truth.  Let go of sadness that prevents love from flowing in or out of your heart.  Let go of loneliness that impedes a friendship with yourself to grow.

 When you finally decide to give it all up, to do the work to grow and evolve, like the Phoenix rising out of the ashes, you ascend reborn, completely liberated, refreshed and free.

Let go of your story and create anew…………..

 

Dissing Yourself is Not Being Your Own Best Friend

 

We often speak to ourselves in mean, condescending and ridiculing ways.  We say things like, “You’re so stupid’, “No wonder no one listens to me”, “I’ll never be happy”, and “I hate myself”!  If you stopped to listen to your negative inner voice you’d find that it doesn’t think much of you.  But the crux of the matter is that it’s YOU that feels this way.  Even if you shoot the blame out to others, like your Partner, your Parents, your Boss, your Friend, it doesn’t solve the problem.  It may bring you some relief in the short run but in the long run, the toxicity remains.

Our inner voice is only echoing our inner truth, that which we believe about ourselves.  And that voice is reaching up from the depths of your own subconscious mind that is the protector of your beliefs without judgment!  It doesn’t sit there and evaluate what it brings to your consciousness because that’s not its job.  That job is to protect what you believe with powerful and ruthless efficiency.

Stopping to listen is an opportunity to ask yourself, “Is that REALLY my truth?”  Or, ask yourself, “Would I say this to my best Friend about her?”  And here can begin an amazing journey to re-write the script that is playing within you.  It is only in recognizing what is behind those hurtful words that you can to choose again what you feel about yourself. 

Write down these self depreciating strings of cruel words about yourself and then immediately write the positive opposite.  Read it out loud!!  Even if it doesn’t feel like your truth, fake it till you make it!  You’ve begun the process of feeding your mind something good and it does listen.  Simply observing can bring your self talk topics to the forefront.  Sometimes “I’m so stupid” can pass into and out of your mind so quickly you miss it completely.  By being aware of it you catch it more often and can do something about it. 

Self Healing happens! Self Healing isn’t a gift given to a select few. It is an intrinsic ability we all have. It’s not magic, a miracle or a phenomenon. It’s about digging deep and listening to your heart and intuition. It’s about opening and connecting with yourself to find the answers about why you think, feel and act the way you do. It’s about changing your consciousness and asking yourself questions about not what you do or how you do it, but why you do it!  You know WHAT you do and HOW you do it. But the why can seem elusive.

Seek help and you shall find it.  Explore through meditation, journaling, hypnotherapy, and any other source of information that can teach you about the nature of your feeling mind, your Subconscious Mind and how to coach it to be a positive speaking best Friend.

 

 

 

 

A leap of faith.  Yes, it takes courage.  Yes, it takes determination.  Yes, it may be against what you feeling inside.  Yes, it may make you feel vulnerable. 

What if the Universe has your back – no matter what? How much braver would you be? How many more chances would you take at work and in your relationships?

If you have been contemplating it, then perhaps you are ready.  So here are some quotes to help you as you stand at the edge of the cliff looking out towards what you desire.  The leap may seem daunting but if you want what is making your heart sing true, then take the risk!

 “Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” - Louise E. Boone

 

“Those who wish to sing will always find a song.” - Celtic Proverb

 

“Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open?” - Rumi

 

“Energy and persistence conquer all things.” - Benjamin Franklin

 

“Transformation is something I cannot explain - too much analysis might destroy it.” - Sophia Loren

 

“Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, whine less, breathe more, talk less, say more, hate less, love more, and good things will be yours.” - Swedish Proverb

 

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Harold Whitman

 

“Be at least as interested in what goes on inside you as what happens outside. If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.” - Eckhart Tolle

 

“Be not afraid of growing slowly. Be only afraid of standing still.” - Chinese Proverb

 

“Those who dance are called insane by those who don't hear the music.” - Eddie Vedder

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
~Wayne Dyer