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Tuesday, 20 December 2011

A Chinese Parable That Teaches Self Acceptance

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her shoulders.  One of the Pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to her house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walked back, you watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.
"Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding."

To love is to look for the good in anything and anyone.  If you look with your heart you will find that each of us is beautifully unique. Imagine what the world would be like if we were all the same...cut from the same cookie cutter?  Dull is what I think.  Our personalities, our experiences, our beliefs and thoughts all form the amazing people we are.  If we could see the beauty in each other, we would see that what truly unites us is our Spirit..our Essence.  The outside may look different.  Our strengths may differ.  But we are all equally worthy and all creators with a right to the space we occupy in this World. 

If you believe differently, I ask you respectfully to examine your beliefs and from where they came.  Perhaps they weren't yours to begin with but passed along by family and/or circumstances.  Then ask yourself, "Is this my truth?"  And then quietly 'feel' the answer come to you for your heart will whisper or roar what your truth really is.  Be surprised, be moved, be questioning.  For you can change your beliefs simply by beginning to observe them. 

Monday, 3 October 2011

The Butterfly Lesson

One day, a small opening appeared in a cocoon; a man sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.
It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could not go any further. Then, it seems to stop making any progress.
So the man decided to help the butterfly: he took a pair of scissors and opened the cocoon.
The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a withered body, it was tiny and had shrivelled wings.
The man continued to watch because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would open, enlarge and expand, to be able to support the butterfly’s body, and become firm.
Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a withered body and shrivelled wings. It never was able to fly.
What the man, in his kindness and his goodwill did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening, were natures way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings, so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life.

LESSON EXAMPLES:
 
The cocoon can represent our preceptions about ourselves and our lives. It is about the power of our thoughts to create a perception of whether we BELIEVE our world is a PRISON or a CLASSROOM. The beauty of this is that thoughts never leave their source and we ALL have the capacity to CHOOSE. We either evolve and become amazing human beings based on our personal definitions of what that is or metaphorically 'die' in a prison surrounded by bars we ourselves created subconsciously.

Sometimes, our experiences require us to go into a "cocoon" to rest before emerging once again.  That rest may signify our going inside ourselves to ask the tide-turning question, "Have I had enough yet?"  As human beings, we have learned that security is that which is familiar.  That has nothing to do with pleasure.  We prove this by staying in relationships, jobs, and lives that are toxic to us but because they are familiar, the fear of the unknown keeps us prisoner within our own life experiences.  When we recognize we've had enough, and realize we can't expect our efforts, so far, to produce a different result unless we CHANGE, that's when we can begin to emerge.  This is the time we open to what and who we really are and feel our worth.  It comes after the time we sat quietly, feeling our feelings in order to bring them to the light.  It is only through feeling that we can connect to that part of us that guides our beliefs and values.  The language of this feeling, habitual mind, the Subconscious Mind, IS feelings, metaphor, symbols and imagery.

It may seem that when we emerge,  we are alone having to endure pain.  I do believe that our greatest lessons come from our greatest, deepest hurtful experiences.  As beautifully said by the Poet, Anais Nin, "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk to blossum".   The opening to inner change does not mean that we cannot reach out.  There is no requirement that our growth be solitary.  Yes, the process is one that we walk alone but we can invite supporters to cheer us on at the sidelines.  Our nature does not perclude us from receiving a helping hand nor is it damaging when we seek help from those who care for us or from those who are trained to help with self change.  

If we were meant to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us.  We learn by contrast.  How would we know inner strength had we not felt weak?  How would we recognize happiness had we never cried in sadness.  It is the very experiences of our lives that define who we are and are capable of becoming.  We would not be as strong as we could have been without the lessons we've endured.  Without them, we would never have been able to fly.
Sometimes, a little extra effort is precisely what prepares us for the next obstacle to be faced. Anyone who refuses to make that effort, or doesn't seek help, is left unprepared to face the next battle and never manages to fly off to their destiny.

Saturday, 24 September 2011

Self Sabotage: Why would anyone want to do that...over and over again!

 The dictionary definition of sabotage is "an act or process tending to hamper or hurt" or "deliberate subversion". “Any undermining of a cause, or priority”.  So the definition of self-sabotage would be, “Any undermining of your own cause or priority which hampers or hurts you. “  Okay then. Why would we want to sabotage our Self? That's a complicated answer. And an easy one, too.  We make that choice.

It's all about programming.  It’s about the negative self talk that takes place subconsciously, when you are NOT consciously aware of what that nasty voice is saying in the background of our minds.


Imagine being at a movie theatre, watching a good flick, and there’s this voice spouting dribble a row behind you.  You stay focused on what’s happening on the screen but you are slightly aware by the tone of the voice, perhaps not catching the words, that the person behind is not into the movie as you are.  It’s perhaps slightly irritating to you. But you choose to ignore it OR not.  If you do ignore it, you choose to tune the irritator out and enjoy the movie.  If you don't, that’s when you turn around and with an intimidating look, tell the doomsayer to be quiet and continue to watch the movie IF the person stops talking.

The doomsayers of the mind are the parts of us that are protecting a belief that may be contrary to what you logically want.  It's important to note that the subconscious mind is the single most powerful goal oriented mechanism known to man!!!  I just can’t say that enough.  Let’s say you procrastinate doing the homework for a night course you’re taking that will help you get a promotion at work.  You find a zillion excuses to not do it.  “I’m tired from working all day and need a break right now”; “I have to do the laundry first or I won’t have any clean clothes to wear to work tomorrow”; “Maybe this isn’t for me”; “I’ll do it later when I have more energy ... time....brain cells”.  Are any of these excuses going to get you the promotion?  Sure, dressing in clean clothes might make an impression on your boss who is holding the reigns to your future.  Yes, being bleary eyed tired might put a damper on that impression as well.  But what you REALLY want is to get the promotion which will increase your income and self esteem. 

Logically, you know you have the skills and can do the job better than Mark or Tom or Carol who are also jockeying for the job.  You have the drive and passion to climb the corporate ladder.  This is what encouraged you to throw your name in the hat.  You also recognize that you need more experience in a particular area required by the new position.  And you know that Mark and Carol have that.  Thus you are taking the crash course in “Accounting in your Sleep”.

So how is it that you know that this course is vital to your professional growth yet all that excitement and drive is deflating and shrivelling like a 3 day old birthday balloon?  Because your subconscious mind has other plans for you.  And they’re based on a belief that YOU YOURSELF believe about YOURSELF.  And it’s an UNCONSCIOUS belief, which means you aren’t aware of the belief consciously nor even remember what the belief is at this point.

Willpower is a conscious mind function. It’s when we use action and energy to move towards something.  But it’s not coming from the powerful inner mind.  And it fizzes out in the face of the ruthlessly efficent subconscious and its goals.  Let’s say that the belief is that you’re not good enough.  And that belief extends to your professional life.  The subconscious mind will protect this belief because it’s yours!  You came to believe this at a time when you had no control of what was happening around you.  So the subconscious mind sees you going for the promotion as a threat to that belief.  That in its pursuit, you will ultimately be hurt emotionally because you’re not good enough to handle the new responsibilities!  You believe that (subconsciously)!  So it begins its strategising to ensure you don’t go through with it. Our National Defence departments could learn from this part of the mind big time.  Being an imaginative and emotional mind and goal oriented, it will use feelings to sabotage the movement toward a goal it sees as not being possible.  It’s not a realistic mind nor a judging mind.  It’s not doing all this to make you feel bad.  It’s doing all this to help you AVOID feeling bad.

Thus, slowly but surely (or quickly and surely), you begin to feel nervous and doubt yourself.  You may or may not wonder where the excitement and drive went.  Well, it was booted out the door.  Now, the logical, conscious mind doesn't recognize feelings. It uses language to interpret and justify so that we feel sane in our world. We feel something (and it doesn't feel good) so the logical mind begins its thought process to justify the feeling. I.e. "that promotion isn't worth my time and effort", "it's not the right time", etc.  You find ways to avoid the task, and the thought of the task becomes greater than the task itself. 

And the logical mind is in cahoots with the subconscious mind.  Because it’s the rationalizer.  It’s our judge and jury.  The logical mind shields the subconscious mind from the outside world.  If an incoming sensory message from the outside is not deemed in HARMONY with the established subconscious belief, it gets rid of it.  It’s like shooting a BB gun at a brick wall.   All the will power in the world will not override this.  If you’d stopped and listened to yourself as you made the decision to go for the promotion, you may have heard your OWN inner voice telling you that it’s a bad idea.  That you really don’t have what it takes.  You may have noticed the feelings that accompany the voice as well, such as fear, nervousness, anxiety, saddness.  But you soldiered on due to will power and the original though that it was logical.  Logical or not, it won’t happen if the subconscious mind isn’t on board that train to the next stop on your route to professional growth.

Fear is the motivator of the subconscious mind.  Many of us are too frightened to even imagine making changes to our lives.  Security is that which is familiar.  If you stay in your job, your marriage, your LIFE as it is, then you at least know what you are dealing with.  We resist change.  To use an extreme example, how many of us have read about abused women who stayed in that abusive relationship until one day they had the courage to leave.  You might ask yourself, “Why the heck didn’t she leave the first time he used her as a punching bag?”  It’s because the evil you know is better than the evil you don’t know. The fear of the unknown is a powerful thing.  These women are no different than any of us!  What makes them do what we would not is their own state of self worth, their internal BELIEF. 

We are all guided by our personal values, morals and beliefs.   We all have some form of fractured sense of value.  And when experiences have continuously battered that fragile piece that knows we ARE worthy of being treated with respect, the belief that we are NOT only gets stronger.  It’s the law of compounding, no pun intended.  Again, it’s the belief that you aren’t good enough, loveable enough, important enough, that guides our choices.  And the subconscious mind is in the driver’s seat.  It perpetuates the belief by having us choose the situations (again, subconsciously and without judgement) that perpetuate the belief.  For example, choosing abusive men to have relationships with.  And if an abused woman were to look at her history, she would begin to notice that each relationship choice was progressively MORE abusive.  Why?  Because each experience only reinforced the belief that she deserves to be physically and emotionally abused.  She doesn’t feel she deserves any better.  And because it’s not rational, she believes that somehow, it’s her fault anyway!!!!  It’s her inner child that says and feels this.  That child in her came to believe by her perceptions based on experiences in her early life that if she were better, more helpful, quieter, more invisible, that she would then be a good girl and receive the love and respect and attention she deserves (which she always deserved to begin with). Many men and women today learned by their childhood experiences that love "hurts".  So their choices will always reflect that belief until the belief changes.

So what can we do to stop this?  A good place to begin is to put on hold the behaviour for a moment and step back from being the Participant in your life without choice.  When you do this, you can observe what you are doing.  Become aware of why you are sabotaging yourself.  Close your eyes and listen to your “self” and you will hear the clues to why you do what you do.  Go with the first thought that comes to your mind.  This puts you on the road to making more conscious choices to create what you do want in your life.  Read books.  Journal your thoughts to work through the procrastination to get to the root issue.  Make a list of all the times you’ve procrastinated in one column and in the next, write out what you did to self sabotage.  Noticing behaviour brings it to conscious attention.  Then create a plan to begin practising better habits.  Know thyself.  This will help you have more control vs. feeling mindless about what you say, think and do.  It’s easy to point fingers and look outside ourselves.  But the answer and the impetus for the behaviour are inside ourselves.  In a situation where it’s likely to happen, watch your thoughts, be aware of the impulse to sabotage yourself, say “That’s interesting” and let them pass away before you act. 

I believe that the Universe supports us in every thought we choose to think. If we think we can’t – we can’t. If we think we can, we CAN.  It's important to give your goal oriented mind strong, positive affirmations so that it does exactly what you want it to do. Give yourself the gift of patience and love – you will get positive results!

Include seeking help to ultimately discover the root of the belief that causes you to self sabotage so that you can change it.  Just working with affirmations will take a LONG TIME to make any permanent changes.  Learning Self Hynosis and practising working with your inner mind will provide results in less time because the key is to access the subconscious mind which is the only part of your mind that can make permanent and long-lasting changes.  It is the habit forming mind, so you have the ability to form new, healthy habits about yourself that will drive your thoughts and actions towards what you truly deserve.

My advise for making those changes in a shorter amount of time is Hypnotherapy, working with a professionally trained Hypnotherapist.  It works!!  It's the deepest form of therapy for life changes. I've done my own inner work and continue to do so because I am learning I DESERVE HAPPINESS.  And I see it daily with clients in my practise.  People rolling up their sleeves to do something new to help themselves change.  Unfortunately, many clients come to me and say I'm their last resort.  They are so tired and at the end of their rope.  I always wish at that point that they had discovered this therapy earlier but also believe that when a person is ready to really dig deep, to educate themselves about what choices they have in self healing therapies, they'll be ready to walk through my door.    Find a Hypnotherapist in your area who can facilitate that change.  Know that you deserve to have what you desire and that their is more than hope for change.  I look at myself as a Mind Coach, partnering with clients to 'change their minds' about self sabotaging beliefs.  It's more than Hypnosis (a technique to gain access to the subconscious mind that we ALL do naturally), it's about being trained to handle all that the clients subconscious mind brings up.  Go with your gut when making a choice.  If you are speaking to a Hypnotherapist when making an inquiry, not only listen to how you feel about what they say about the process but how you feel about the person.  This person is going to work with you to guide you to unearth the knowledge you already have about why you feel the way you do, why you act as you do, why you think as you do.  This is very vulnerable work and trust is so important. 

"In oneself lies the whole world and if you know how to look and learn, the door is there and the key is in your hand. Nobody on earth can give you either the key or the door to open, except yourself."
Jiddu Krishnamurti

Monday, 19 September 2011

Acres of Diamonds...You Are Unknowingly Sitting On One Right Now!!



My wonderful weapon of information, John Malone, brought to my attention an interesting TRUE story about an African farmer who sought his dream of riches without ever considering looking in his proverbial back yard. 

This is true story with an ageless moral.  It got me thinking about my own life and how I, many times, felt that what I needed to make me happy was or “over there”.  Certainly it wasn’t were I was standing.  So I toiled and strove and climbed to get “over there”.  Yet, as I could predict NOW, after settling in the “over there” spot which I thought would represent my happiness and self actualization, I’d soon find it didn’t fulfill me, didn’t have me happier, richer, more peaceful, more accepted, or more loved.  So back to the drawing board I’d go, ever the optimist that the riches were now “over there” (further, of course, than over here.  I should have been a long distance runner.  Wait a minute, I was!)  And the saga continued like hamster in a wheel who thinks she’s going somewhere but actually is...not!.  The damn grass was NEVER greener on the other side.  But I had a great capacity to justify that by telling myself it was the wrong SHADE.  Looking back now, as one always does, if the grass was greener it’s because it was being given better care than my own.

The farm turned out to be the Kimberly Diamond Mine...the richest the world has ever known. The original farmer was literally standing on "Acres of Diamonds" until he sold his farm.

So read on and you’ll perhaps see yourself in this story.


ACRES OF DIAMONDS
The story — a true one — is told of an African farmer who heard tales about other farmers who had made millions by discovering diamond mines. These tales so excited the farmer that he could hardly wait to sell his farm and go prospecting for diamonds himself. He sold the farm and spent the rest of his life wandering the African continent searching unsuccessfully for the gleaming gems that brought such high prices on the markets of the world. Finally, worn out and in a fit of despondency, he threw himself into a river and drowned.

Meanwhile, the man who had bought his farm happened to be crossing the small stream on the property one day, when suddenly there was a bright flash of blue and red light from the stream bottom. He bent down and picked up a stone. It was a good-sized stone, and admiring it, he brought it home and put it on his fireplace mantel as an interesting curiosity.

Several weeks later a visitor picked up the stone, looked closely at it, hefted it in his hand, and nearly fainted. He asked the farmer if he knew what he'd found. When the farmer said, no, that he thought it was a piece of crystal, the visitor told him he had found one of the largest diamonds ever discovered. The farmer had trouble believing that. He told the man that his creek was full of such stones, not all as large as the one on the mantel, but sprinkled generously throughout the creek bottom.

The farm the first farmer had sold, so that he might find a diamond mine, turned out to be one of the most productive diamond mines on the entire African continent.The first farmer had owned, free and clear ... acres of diamonds. But he had sold them for practically nothing, in order to look for them elsewhere. The moral is clear: If the first farmer had only taken the time to study and prepare himself to learn what diamonds looked like in their rough state, and to thoroughly explore the property he had before looking elsewhere, all of his wildest dreams would have come true.

Millions of people have been touched by this story and it's because of the idea that each of us is, at this very moment, standing in the middle of our own acres of diamonds. If we quietly assess our 'riches' - our health, our friendships, our work, the people who love us, we would realise that what we seek is already right in front of us.  With the right attitude, we realize that we are walking on our own Acre of Diamonds.  It's right under your feet :)

Sunday, 11 September 2011

The Why before the How and What


WHY, HOW AND WHAT:

I read a great book that had me redefining my thoughts about my vocation. It's called "Start With Why" by Simon Sinek.  And I am excited at the content as it speaks to any company, service based, product based, business-to-business based. 
So, here goes :)
The Why:

Most companies can tell you what they do and how they do it.  I believe that the why of what I do comes before the how and what I do. I’ve learned that what truly drives my work is the WHY.  And it is far more important than the what or the how.  I asked myself the Why..why I do what I do in my professional life?  

My passion is PEOPLE.  It’s why I do the work I do. Guiding people to live fulfilling lives because they are at home inside themselves.  I have seen not only others shift in beautiful ways in my office but also have experienced the benefits of doing my OWN inner work to heal the un-truths about myself that I unknowingly held onto tooth and nail.  And I’d never expect anyone to do anything I hadn’t done.  I have to believe in what I do and how I do it.  There’s the why again.  Belief in what I do.  Thus the why is also knowing that I come from heart when offering my service to others.  I learn and grow with each person that vulnerably opens up and trusts me and this humbles me.  And it drives me to do my best. Another why.

Self Healing happens!  It’s not magic, a miracle or a phenomenon.  It’s about digging deep and listening to your heart and intuition.  It’s about opening and connecting with yourself to find the answers about why you think, feel and act the way you do.  You know WHAT you do and HOW you do it.  But the why can seem elusive.  It’s not a gift given to a select few.  It is an intrinsic ability we all have.  This is why I talk about it at every opportunity, whether it’s holding seminars and workshops, guest speaking on radio and television, and teaching classes.

My own life path led me to this wonderful vocation that’s about liberating the potential that exists in all of us.   To see us flourish and become all that we are meant to be.  Health, wellness and peace are within our grasp.  The key is to re-educate the part of our mind that self sabotages our true self.  

The WHAT and HOW:

The what and how follow the why.  I feel at my best partnering with others to release those disrupting and incapacitating subconscious blocks to their success – personally and professionally.  The WHAT and HOW of what I do is that I use a technique called Hypnosis as a tool to unlock the subconscious, "feeling" minds potential and release the damaging beliefs formed in the past that sabotage the now.  I trained extensively to be true to the mind-body healing principle, for everything begins with a thought in the mind.  WHAT I do is help to free individuals just like you, to be what they were always meant to be – their true self.

If this speaks to you, then you're ready to find YOUR Why.  Perhaps you've had enough? Enough of negative self talk, damaging relationships, self sabotage, self limiting beliefs? If your answer is yes, then you’ve come to the right place.  If what you’ve read resonates with you, then it’s your self-guidance system telling you it’s time to release your true self. I’d be honoured to partner with you on your journey.

Thursday, 8 September 2011

Good Quotes to Share:

I know that I get some golden nuggets from quotes in emails from well intended friends and colleagues.  Feel free to share the with others.  



Good Quotes to Share:

"To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping”  Chinese Proverbs quotes

"When one door closes, another door opens but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open to us."  ~ Alexander Graham Bell
WHAT is it that's hard to break?


"Diamonds are hard to find but not hard to Break.  What is the hardest thing to break then?
The answer is: A HABIT!

If you break the H, you still have A BIT.
If you break the A, you still have BIT.
If you break the B, you still have IT! 
Hey, after you break the T in IT, there is still the 'I'.

And that (I) is the root cause of all the problems.
Now you know why HABIT is so hard to break."



“Parachutes are like minds; they work best when open.”
-Lord Thomas Dewar

“Progress is impossible without change: those that cannot change their minds cannot change anything”  George Bernard Shaw

"Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you".   -Ralph Waldo Emerson

THE PARABLE OF THE STONE

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT.  DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT, AND ONE FRIEND SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE.

THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE".


THEY KEPT ON WALKING, UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS, WHERE THEY DECIDED
TO TAKE A BATH.  THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE
MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING, BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM THE NEAR DROWNING, HE WROTE ON A STONE:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE".

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND ASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU, YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW, YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?"

THE FRIEND REPLIED, "WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN
IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.

BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES  SOMETHING GOOD FOR US, WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT".

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS  IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Eating Disorders & Weight Issues

Summer is coming to an end and enter the colourful season of the year.  It's a time to get back into schedules with kids going back to school and holidays a memory.  Summer gives some of us a break from life's tribulations so fall is also a time to start taking action.

Whether it's stopping smoking, tackling procrastination, reducing weight, overcoming phobias and anxieties, healing medical issues outside of pharmacopia, Hypnosis offers effective, safe and long lasting results.  Something to think about as the leaves fall off the trees ...... But ACT before they hit the ground :)

I attempt to offer information on a few topics each blog and in this one, it's Eating Disorders as well as Weight Issues.  So sit back, sip a cup of tea or coffee and read on.

Eating Disorders - A Hidden Behaviour

I recently re-read the information below regarding Eating Disorders as I've worked with a number of clients with this issue. It is a prevelent condition that not only affects adults but now is seen more prevalently in our adolescent population.

Eating disorders are not about the symptoms, even though they are scary.  It is about the emotions that drive the behaviour.  It's a coping mechanism for much deeper subconscious issues.  In a society where much emphasis is placed on the outer appearance and the "ideal body type" (just pick up any fashion magazine to illustrate), anyone who has deep self esteem issues such as not being good enough, perfect enough, etc, will be instantly left feeling lacking.

There are over 6 billion people in the world and MILLIONS of them are dissatisfied with their physical appearance.  Now that doesn't mean that all of them have eating disorders, but with the shear numbers, many do!  In fact, the National Eating Disorder Information Centre estimates that up to 40% of nine year-old girls have dieted to lose weight, even when they were of a normal weight level.  9 years old!!!!  Eating disorders don't discriminate. They cross cultural, racial, gender, age, and economic boundaries.

Here are some more staggering statistics:

IN CANADA...
* Eating disorders are the most common chronic illnesses in the female adolescent population, with an incidence of up to 5% (Golden et al., 2003).
* 95% of reported hospitalized cases of anorexia and more than 90% of hospitalized cases of bulimia in Ontario were women (Gucciardi et al., 1995)
* Some studies have found that young men represent about 10% of individuals with eating disorders (Steiger and S├ęguin, 1999)
* Men are more likely to be affected by binge eating disorder than any other type of eating disorder (Public Health Agency of Canada, 2002).
* Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness, between 18-20% (Cavanaugh, 1999) .
* A study published in 2001 reported that 23% of adolescent females were dieting to lose weight (Jones et al., 2001).
* Surveys have shown that 7.7% of men have a strong fear of being overweight, compared to 18.5% of women (Gadalla and Pran, 2007) .
* In 2005, more than 500,000 Canadians suffered from some sort of eating disorder (Canadian Mental Health Association).
* One study suggests that unhealthy dieting behaviours are reported in girls as young as 10 years of age (McVey et al., 2004).

Our society's preoccupation with body image is reflected in the fact that, at any given time, 70% of women and 35% of men are dieting. More seriously, a 1993 Statistics Canada Survey reported that in women between the ages of 15 and 25, 1-2% have anorexia and 3-5% have bulimia. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of all mental illnesses, with 10% to 20% eventually dying from complications.

It can be difficult for a person with an eating disorder to admit they have a problem. Knowing how to support someone with an eating disorder can be a challenge. Treatment is available - it can be a long process, but an eating disorder can be overcome. If you think that you, or someone you know, has an eating disorder, it is important to learn the facts. Gaining an understanding of these conditions is the first step in the journey to wellness.

Three chronic eating disorders have been identified.

Anorexia nervosa is characterized by severe weight loss due to extreme food reduction. Symptoms include:
    * refusal to keep body weight at or above the normal weight for one's body type
    * dieting to extremes, usually coupled with excessive exercise
    * feeling overweight despite dramatic weight loss
    * loss of menstrual periods
    * extreme preoccupation with body weight and shape

Bulimia nervosa results in frequent fluctuations in weight, due to periods of uncontrollable binge eating, followed by purging. As well as a preoccupation with body image, symptoms include:
    * repeated episodes of bingeing and purging, usually by self-induced vomiting, abuse of laxatives, diet pills and/or diuretics - methods which are both ineffective and harmful
    * eating beyond the point of fullness

Binge-eating disorder, or compulsive eating, is often triggered by chronic dieting and involves periods of overeating, often in secret and often carried out as a means of deriving comfort. Symptoms include:
    * periods of uncontrolled, impulsive or continuous eating
    * sporadic fasts or repetitive diets

Eating disorders can be difficult to detect. Many people view dieting as a normal activity and this can obscure a person's eating problems. It can be difficult for a person with an eating disorder to admit they have a problem. Knowing how to support someone with an eating disorder is also a challenge. Treatment is available - it can be a long process, but an eating disorder can be overcome. If you think that you, or someone you know, has an eating disorder, it is important to learn the facts. Gaining an understanding of these conditions is the first step in the journey to wellness.

Warning signs
Eating disorders can be difficult to detect. Someone suffering from bulimia can have a normal weight, but the activities they are engaging in can be deadly. Here are some warning signs:
    * low self-esteem
    * social withdrawal
    * claims of feeling fat when weight is normal or low
    * preoccupation with food, weight, counting calories and with what people think
    * denial that there is a problem
    * wanting to be perfect
    * intolerance of others
    * inability to concentrate

What causes an eating disorder? I'd like to preface that my belief is that by whatever name you call it, it's a LABEL.  As a clinically trained Hypnotherapist, the presenting "label" is effect.  The cause is the goal for changing habits and self limiting beliefs.  And the cause is something that happened in the person's past that made them feel feelings that compromised their sense of self (self esteem).

I partner with clients, using simple Hypnotic techniques, to access the Subconscious Mind, the seat of all emotions, beliefs, perceptions, imagination, habits and permanent memory, which has the answer.  My approach is a holistic approach - Mind AND Body.  The Body's symptoms (depending on the symptoms of the labelled disorder type) are its way of saying NO.  NO to the emotions felt in the body directly relating to a subconscious belief that is negative.  We are feeling beings and those feelings, good, bad or ugly, are felt physically.  The body says OUCH when you can't or won't, either consciously or subconscious  (unknowingly).  My clients learn to 'listen' to their body to guage the feelings causing their issue and thus the thoughts that drive the emotion.  A client, when asked how they feel about his/her body, may respond, "it's too fat (when in fact I am seeing a thin person sitting before me).  But this response is conscious and a thought.  When we work together using the subconscious mind, with eyes closed and focused inward, the answer may be something to the effect of, "I hate myself"; "I have no control" (Thought) and that makes me feel angry/sad/lost/lonely (feeling)".

BINGO...now we're cooking with gas and can go to work and follow those feelings to the root cause.
This is not a "one session wonder" modality.  There is no such thing.  There are deep rooted issues here with deep rooted causal events.  The average number of sessions for any issue is 6.  It could be more, depending on how much the client is willing to roll up their sleeves and work with me.

When someone has an eating disorder, their weight is the prime focus of their life. Their all-consuming preoccupation with calories, grams of fat, exercise and weight allows them to displace the painful emotions or situations that are at the heart of the problem and gives them a false sense of being in control.  But when working subconsciously, guided by me, there is no hiding from the emotions.  Heal the emotions, the body heals and the symptoms abate and/or disappear.

If you think someone you know has an eating disorder, learn what you can about these conditions. Express your concerns calmly and in a caring way. You can't force someone to change their behaviour, but you can let them know that you care and want to support them. Encourage the person to seek professional help. Don't lay blame and focus discussions on feelings, not food. Examine your own issues around food and weight. Be supportive, but do not enable the behaviour.  Remember that the answers lie within and a well-trained Hypnotherapist can be a viable partner for healthy change.

DR OZ ENDORSES HYPNOSIS FOR WEIGHT LOSS!!
As Seen on the June 20th, 2011 Dr. Oz Show 6/20/2011 (Taken from Dr. Oz's website)
Dr. Oz thinks that hypnosis has profound powers to put to rest the demons inside of you causing you to overeat. Dr. Oz says that hypnosis changed his life when he found out about it when he was going to college.

The assisting hypnotist (Paul Mckenna) says that you can reprogram your mind to make positive changes in your life. When you are hypnotized you are in an altered state of consciousness. Members from the audience were hypnotized before the show. Many of the audience members didn’t know they were actually hypnotized. During the show he said that he could immediately put them back into the trance. Paul Mckenna then “re-hypnotized” certain members of the audience. It was quite amazing to see. The hypnotist had the hypnotized audience members laughing hysterically in their trance before he brought them out of their trance.

Dr. Oz talked about the main patterns for overeating.

Emotional Eating – Emotions trigger a response to want to eat. When your happy, when your said, when it’s time to celebrate, or even when you are tired. Emotions are the #1 reason why people eat.
Obsessive Dieting – Obsessive dieting is when you try every diet out there. It’s a continuous cycle where you go from one diet to the next.

Rosa's Comments~
In a society where obesity is a growing problem, not only in adults but in CHILDREN, this is cause for concern.  It has been described as a global epidemic linked to diabetes, hypertension, cardiovascular disease and some forms of cancer. Even though we hear more about it via U.S. statistics, it is a major concern for Canadians as well.  Our statistics may be better, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not something to smile about.
Statistics for Adult Obesity in Canada vs. U.S.A.:

Taken from http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/82-625-x/2011001/article/11411-eng.htm
In
2007 to 2009, the prevalence of obesity in Canada was 24.1%, over 10 percentage points lower than in the United States (34.4%).

Among men, the prevalence of obesity was over 8 percentage points lower in Canada than in the United States (24.3% compared with 32.6%) and among women, more than 12 percentage points lower.  That's still over 24% of our population!!!!!  Currently 59% of Adult Canadians are either overweight or obese!

Statistics for Child Obesity in Canada:
Taken from www.childhoodobesityfoundation.ca
Rates
in children have almost tripled in the last 25 years. Approximately 26% of Canadian children ages 2-17 years old are currently overweight or obese.

The issue of weight is NOT about what you eat or when or how much.  It is the subconscious programming below the level of conscious awareness that is driving the behaviour to fulfill an emotional need.  All weight issues are emotional and what we are doing as a society is EATING our emotions, filling an emptiness that food just can`t satisfy.  If our car is out of gas, you don`t fill it up the window wiper fluid.  We are giving our bodies what it does not need, which is food when the body IS NOT HUNGRY. 

In my experience assisting clients with their weight challenges, whether to reduce by 10 pounds or 60 pounds, in following the feeling about their weight TODAY (eating when frustrated, bored, stressed) I use Hypnosis as a technique to guide us with the feelings of now to the root event that the subconscious mind is protecting, and in most cases it is to satisfy SADNESS as a child (our past experience forgotten consciously).  And  this is a moment in time in childhood where the child reached for food (as a treat) and they `felt better`.  Each time this happens, it becomes a habit.  And the subconscious mind is a goal oriented mechanism, it`s a habit forming mind that doesn`t judgement our acts.  That`s the domain of the logical, thinking mind.  It is 90% of our mind.  The logical, thinking mind is 10% of the mind and doesn`t feel .   Think of a tug of war with 1 person on 1 end and 9 on the other end.  Who do you think will win....  The 9 side, of course, because it has more energy and strength! 

The subconscious doesn`t evaluate that eating when sad (feeling) about something (a thought) is taxing the body or making the person gain weight or that the person isn`t even hungry.  It is not a THINKING mind but a FEELING mind.  And when the treat satisfied the feeling, it continues to use food to overcome the negative feeling.  When the feelings of sadness hit us as Adults, the same applies.  The subconscious mind gets you up in front of the fridge or cupboard at any hour of the day to `make you feel better`.  Not rational.  Emotional.  Note that when this happens, you may not even be aware of the feeling of WHY you are needing chips or a sandwich at 11pm.  But the subconscious mind knows.  It knows that you are lonely (sad) and that food makes you feel better.  And the cycle continues.

Hypnosis is one of the most enduring and efficient modalities to help people gain CONTROL of their emotions so that new habits can be formed.  The subconscious mind CAN relearn new habits by being directly educated that this habit no longer protects you (you have healthier skills that your inner child did not).  With control of the habit, you have control of your life!  Change your Mind, Change your Life!