Trust - It's in you

 



Each day I am blessed to partner with people who decided that they had had enough of their fears, insecurities, shames, angers and guilts.  I cannot tell you how empowering that feels, not from an ego state (aren’t I great) but from the heart state (aren’t I lucky).

 

I thank each and every client that I’ve had the opportunity to listen to, guide, cajole, empathize with, and educate, for honouring me with their memories of fear, who gave me their trust so that they could, in turn, heal themselves.  Each has given me the gift of learning as well in that I have grown with each experience on this journey we call Life. 

 

My biggest lesson in this life has been to trust.  Yes, trust.  I would only let people in so deep, even though I was perceived as so open and engaging.  I created a shield around my heart for inside, I was so afraid to be hurt and disappointed.  Marshmallow on the outside and granite on the inside is how I was once described by my wonderful Fiancé.  And rather than get angry at a perceived criticism (which had been my way of defending myself), I felt the truth of this statement and by doing so, I could ferret out the root cause of my distrust.  Hypnosis and clarity for me ensued, with some sweat and tears on the way to my enlightenment.

 

I liken this process of becoming more aware of yourself as to waking from a dream.  In the dream we are being led by our subconscious mind as it is processing what we are experiencing externally.  It also leads us, based on our beliefs, through every waking moment because, in actual fact, the subconscious mind never sleeps!  We have no control of what we are dreaming about (unless you lucid dream which is a dream in which you know you are dreaming. Typically this happens when the dreamer experiences something strange, and when they stop to question their reality, they realize they are in a dream. Lucid dreams happen naturally on occasion, although some people may have them naturally more often than others).   As your awareness grows through self work, you find yourself more conscious of your thoughts and their internal triggers. This is when you take back control.  It’s the opportunity that is presented to create something different.  And it can also happen when you are so hurt, in pain, licking the bottom of the barrel, that you have the thought, “Have I had enough yet”?  When the answer is yes, you begin walking the path to finding your authentic self.

Through my work on my ‘self’ and working with others, I realize deeply the value of trust.  That it is something you can’t get from any one or any thing until you have it within yourself.  I love the expression, “Your outer world is an expression of your inner world”.  And that means that if your world looks scary, makes you angry, sad or lost, then it is actually you that feels these feelings and they colour your view of every situation you encounter.  And I find myself being more and more authentic as my fear to let people see the “inner me” becomes easier as I no longer judge myself so harshly.  Am I perfect?  Hell no.  Am I done?  Thankfully not.  We are all works in progress.  But each shift I make in my perception of myself, each old, false, ugly belief I overcome, brings me deeper into a state of peace.  And the more I observe how I feel and the thoughts attached to those feelings, the more I am able to do the work to change and have more TIME in peacefulness. 

 

So I appreciate my client’s vulnerability and authenticity for the simple message they conveyed – “I am willing to trust myself to trust you”.