Did you know that your mind is the largest sex organ
you possess? News to many who think the
physical “junk” is. And because body
follows mind, it’s the MIND that dictates how your body responds in the
intimacy arena. And it can be
fickle! Hypnosis happens to be one of
the most effective ways of overcoming challenges where your heart and body are
concerned.
The mind stores all of your past emotional hurts,
whether they are related to romantic relationships (when you heart was thrashed
by a lover who betrayed you/lied to you) or to familial relationships (not
having felt loved by a parent as a child). And it does not forget A THING! It protects you from re-experiencing those
wounds, without judgment, even when you are
searching for love and think you deserve it …which you do. I see many clients in my Practice who have
challenges in the heart arena, some resulting in physical issues, because they felt unloved as a child, having a parent
or parents who did not demonstrate love either in words (saying “I love you”)
or in actions (hugs, kisses).
In
order for many couples to maintain a sexual relationship, one or both have to block out those wounds— to turn off their minds in order to
be present in the physical act of sex. Because we are emotional beings, and our
mind is the creator of emotions which communicates them to our body through
sensations and through our thoughts, it regulates our performance. This is one reason so many people keep their
eyes closed during sex. With eyes closed, you block out what’s really happening
and pay attention to the inner movie screen playing out various fantasies. to stay in the moment.
That’s not exactly a recipe for either intimacy or eroticism.
Our
mind can interrupt the intimacy instantly, often without conscious
awareness. It can mean, for a man, that
he can no longer hold his erection. For
a woman, it can mean becoming less lubricated which can cause painful
intercourse. It can also happen due to outside forces. Imagine being in the act of
intercourse and you hear your child calling for you in the other room. Your mind changes course instantly and acts
like a rush of water putting out as fire.
The creeping in of thoughts generated from past negative experiences
acts in the same way, putting a kibosh on the fun.
If
someone has been hurt in the past, he may feel that all women are
untrustworthy. This is a perception and
not a fact. This will certainly lead to
difficulty in making long lasting commitments.
If
someone has been let down by love, she may feel unworthy of it and lead her
down the path of loneliness. This is
also a perception but not fact.
And
centered in all of this is our own self esteem which translates to
worthiness. It is the root of the
issue. Hypnosis is simply a tool to
access your emotional mind that protects the belief you yourself formed when
you didn’t have the facts. And the fact is that whatever happened to compromise
your self esteem, whether emotionally unavailable parent or a betraying
boyfriend or girlfriend, it did not make you unlovable. It did not put you at fault. It did not make
you ‘less than’. Hypnotherapy, specifically, can guide you to
reeducate your own mind to the truth. It
forgets nothing but can be taught a new thought system.
Reframing
of past events, through recollecting, in hypnosis, the content of the event(s) can
be the healing balm to sexual fear of intimacy and to physical sexual dysfunctions. As a Hypnotherapist, my role is to help my
clients examine the context of what they learned from the negative experience
because, every time, without exception, the context was misunderstood. We can’t change the content, because what
happened DID happen. But we can change
the way you look at it. We can bring you
back to what is the truth – which is that you are lovable and need to love
yourself FIRST. I’ve often said to
clients what I believe to be true – our outer world is only an expression of
our inner world. If our lives are
loveless, it is because we love ourselves less.
And when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at
change.
Sexual
and romantic intimacy are the foundation of relationships. We all need to belong, to feel love and to
love. If what I’ve written rings true to
you, contact me and let’s talk about you can love yourself which will open you
up to receiving love in all areas of your life.
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